Category: Children
There are so many suggestions and innuendos on what a healthy relationship is and what it is not. A lot of the examples that we see come from social media or reality TV, and if we are honest some of us are just navigating without a parachute. Sheesh and that’s from the adult view.
However, what about our teens?
You know the population who is influenced by the above genre the most.
In working with teens, we see that self-esteem and self-worth, or the lack thereof is a deadly formula that puts a mark on their back for heartbreak, misunderstanding, and sometimes abuse.
When you don’t love yourself you become an easy prey for toxicity. Examples of this are the young girl or boy who never received nurturing, love, or affection. This will be the teen looking for love in all the wrong places. The kid who accepts any affection because face it, it’s better than nothing at all.
Or the young person with the example of parents who argue as a means of effective communication. 9 out of 10 this will be the teen who is the aggressor when they begin a relationship.
The last one… the child where nothing they do is ever good enough.
This is the youngster who will accept belittlement, disrespect, and yes they are even prone to experience violence because they are in a low state.
As we enter into Respect Week these are some of the matters facing the youth served. We must intervene. In order to help or be a solution we have to point the child back to their individual self.
In group settings, this may start with questions or statements such as,
Do you like you?
Do you love you?
Give me one positive word that describes you.
This opens for discussion and allows us to encourage and teach youth to have a great level of love and respect for self. For many, this may be new as they have been in an unhealthy relationship with themselves, which has affected their relationships with others. Ouch!
The only way for us to have beneficial prevention is to point youth back to a healthy regard for self. If we create this as the foundation, then we give them a pretty good start on recognizing who or what is healthy for them.
It goes back to the core. One of the most important relationships one will ever have is the one with self. So, treat yourself with love and respect.
Treat yourself well, you deserve it!
About the Author
Stefanie Hayes
Expect Respect Facilitator
HCDVCC
The St Jerome Emiliani Foster Care Program
Imagine having an abusive parent in a third world country with no viable option for kinship adoption. Now imagine a hostile government takeover swept your city and violently ended the lives of your entire family. This is the reality for thousands of people around the world, many of which are children who are forced to escape to the US.
The St. Jerome Emiliani Foster Care Program provides a nurturing home environment for unaccompanied refugee children and teenagers, many of whom have escaped devastating situations in their native lands. They may have been trafficked here, escorted by a coyote, or traveled overseas, enduring a long journey to make it to a place of refuge. Due to these adverse experiences, the youth may have trauma, be grieving, and exhibit complex behaviors. Our program is the only International Foster Care available in the greater Houston area, so we offer a niche way to help youth in need that differs from domestic foster care, who works with CPS.
Our youth are temporarily held in shelters or refugee camps while they wait to be referred to us by the Office of Refugee Resettlement. Once accepted into the St Jerome program, we pick them up from the airport and place them in licensed foster homes. Foster parents play a critical role in providing a stable family: issuing food, clothing, shelter, love, protection, and guidance to the youth in their care to help them become self-sufficient young adults. The end goal is to ensure the foster youth have their needs met in a safe, therapeutic, and caring way.
The St. Jerome Program, with assistance from other programs at Catholic Charities, provides financial support, case management services, independent living skills training, education/English as a Second Language (ESL, mentoring, job skills training, legal assistance, cultural activities, clinical services, and ongoing family tracing). We work as a well-rounded team to offer full support to all our families and take great pride in how we advocate for both the youth and the foster parents when issues arise. We ensure all sides are heard so we can come up with a proper solution.
Every year we see youth from different countries depending on the current political climate. This year, we anticipate the bulk of our referrals to come from Cuba, Venezuela, Haiti, Guatemala, Honduras, Eritrea, Ethiopia, and Sudan. Due to these stats, we are hoping to bring on some Spanish speaking foster families, particularly from Central America, and African foster parents, to provide a good cultural match for these youth.
Potential foster parents go through many steps to become licensed with our program, including an orientation, trainings, documentation, home study, and observation hours in other foster homes. We work with our potentials to help guide them through the process and make sure our program is a good fit. If you are interested in making a difference in the lives of these youth, please scan the QR code to fill out our questionnaire and sign up for an orientation to learn more today!
April is Child Abuse Prevention Month
This month and throughout the year, we all need to take part in protecting children and making Harris County a safer and better place for children to grow and thrive.
Last year, more than 56,000 children in Texas were victims of abuse or neglect. We often see a rise in incidents of child abuse and neglect during stressful times. The loss of employment, isolation, lack of housing, money and resources are just some of the risk factors that can reduce a parent’s ability to cope effectively with the day-to-day stressors of raising a child. The good news is that child abuse is preventable. The best way to prevent child abuse is to support families and provide parents with the skills and resources they need. Families are better able to deal with life stressors when they have the support and the resources they need.
For more than half a century, Harris County Resources for Children and Adults has been providing services to strengthen families and to help vulnerable children and adults in our community. We provide services to abused and neglected children with services such as:
- Medical, dental, and behavioral health care in one location
- Transitional services to current and former foster youth to empower them for successful adult living
- Emergency shelter for abused and at-risk youth
- Basic necessities, clothes, school supplies and holiday gifts
We provide community and school-based prevention and early intervention services to divert youth from involvement with child protective services and the juvenile justice systems. Some of our services include:
- 24/7 crisis intervention and hotlines
- Mental health services
- School-based counseling
- Services for truancy, homelessness, parent-child conflict
- Services for youth involved with the Justice of the Peace Courts
- Summer and after school programs
In addition, we provide services to vulnerable adults and senior victims of crime. These services include:
- Guardianship services for indigent and incapacitated adults in Harris County.
- Services for senior victims of abuse, neglect or exploitation, age 65 or older.
All our services are voluntary and at no cost to families.
For more information visit resources.harriscountytx.gov or call our 24-hour number 713-295-2600.
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April – SAAM & CAPM
Each April we take time to pause and reflect on Sexual Assault and Child Abuse. Sexual Assault Awareness Month and Child Abuse Prevention Month include many events that are meant to raise awareness about Sexual Assault and to talk about preventing Child Abuse. Teal and blue ribbons are worn, tied to trees and fences to remind people that we need to address both serious issues. While we in the field are aware of the significance of this month, many in the community are not. Most people think of sexual assault as it only happens to other people, or it can’t ever happen to me because I do not do anything that can “cause” it to happen to me.
The National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC) defines sexual assault as any type of unwanted sexual contact. This includes words and actions of a sexual nature against a person’s will and without their consent. For example, if someone forces you to kiss them or touches you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable or fearful, this is sexual assault. It’s important to note that it doesn’t have to be physical—any kind of verbal pressure for sex or even just suggesting sex without consent is also considered sexual assault. Also worth mentioning is never pressure children to hug an adult, to keep any type of secrets, and make sure they understand the difference between good touches and places they should not be touched.
Survivors need access to emotional and practical support to heal from their trauma. Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) and local organizations provide 24/7 hotline services with trained professionals who can discuss options with survivors and offer advice on how they can move forward after an experience with sexual violence. Our local agencies also offer support groups where survivors can talk with one another in a safe space. These spaces provide a sense of community and understanding that can be healing for those affected by this crime.
In addition to supporting survivors, it’s important for everyone to educate themselves about the signs of potential abuse so that they can intervene when necessary. Education around healthy relationships is key in preventing future instances of sexual violence from occurring. Teaching young people about consent and mutual respect early on will help set them up for success later in life. Especially, if they find themselves in a potentially dangerous situation that could escalate into something more serious.
Sexual Assault Awareness Month and Child Abuse Prevention Month serve as an important reminder that we all need to do our part in combating this pervasive problem by supporting victims, educating ourselves on prevention measures, and working towards creating a culture where everyone feels safe and always respected. Be sure to check out the NSVRC and RAINN’s websites if you or someone you know needs help dealing with matters related to sexual assault or abuse. For more information on Child Abuse you can visit Child Help National Child Abuse hotline. Together we can create positive change!
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Texas Advocacy Project
My name is Aarian Tipton. I am one of 3 licensed masters social workers with Texas Advocacy Project.
TAP provides free legal services and access to the justice system, and advances prevention through public outreach and education. We provide holistic trauma-responsive care in collaboration with the legal team. Our services aim to reduce barriers to legal services and provide pathways to improve long-term stability. Social workers are typically consulted after a survivor has spoken to a staff attorney, and expressed a need-or the staff attorney felt the survivor indicated they were in a high-risk situation.
TAP provides free legal services and access to the justice system, and advances prevention through public outreach and education. We provide holistic trauma-responsive care in collaboration with the legal team. Our services aim to reduce barriers to legal services and provide pathways to improve long-term stability. Social workers are typically consulted after a survivor has spoken to a staff attorney, and expressed a need-or the staff attorney felt the survivor indicated they were in a high-risk situation.
A typical day for the social worker can look like speaking with a survivor about various safety concerns, stress, assessing mental health concerns, and providing various community resources. However, no day is the same and other challenges may arise. When survivors’ basic needs (shelter, food, mental health, ect.) are addressed, they are more likely to have improved engagement as well as improved legal outcomes. In addition to the case management/crisis management intervention we provide to survivors.
We have developed community partnerships such as with HCDVCC and UAHT, provide staff education and trainings, and provide internships for students. We currently have 3 interns. We provide services all over the state of Texas. Our website is: https://www.texasadvocacyproject.org/ we look forward to connecting with more organizations and survivors as it is our vision that all Texans live free from abuse.
We have developed community partnerships such as with HCDVCC and UAHT, provide staff education and trainings, and provide internships for students. We currently have 3 interns. We provide services all over the state of Texas. Our website is: https://www.texasadvocacyproject.org/ we look forward to connecting with more organizations and survivors as it is our vision that all Texans live free from abuse.
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Family Scholar House
Houston is one of the newest locations of the Family Scholar House brand. This organization was started in Louisville, KY in 1995 by a group of nuns and has grown to include 9 affiliates in 13 locations.
Family Scholar House targets single parents who want to pursue higher education (two year, four year or apprenticeship) and need a support system to successfully matriculate through. The Louisville program offers supportive housing to parent scholars and has almost 300 apartments on five campuses. Houston will also offer supportive housing for parent scholars starting in 2024-25. There will be 66 units to start and that number will grow over time.
One of their moms is a 30+ year old recently divorced mother of an autistic son. She lost their housing and stability when her marriage failed. She went back to school at a local community college and has found housing but it’s difficult to afford with the increase in rent locally. She’s grateful for the wraparound support, mentoring and connection to resources.
Their graduation rate is 88 percent, which would be the pride of any fine university. A whopping 70 percent of graduates are completely off public assistance within three months of leaving the Family Scholar House program. We are recruiting single parents who desire to complete their degree, mentorship, and connection to resources.
Another participant is a 20+ year old student with small children who will be graduating at the end of this year. She’s been connected to various resources, scholarships, counseling and mentorship.
For more information, call Felicia Young at 346-399-6278 or visit their website: https://familyscholarhouse.org
Expect Respect is a program offered through SAFE in Austin, Tx.. The purpose of the program is to promote healthy relationships among teens. Recently, SAFE partnered with HCDVCC to offer this program to youth in grades 6-12. As we are leading up to February, which is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, facilitator Stefanie Hayes is teaching the youth how to be aware and recognize Red Flags that can lead to dating violence. Stefanie also serves as a support to the educators, parents, and communities that serve our youth by providing prevention and the basics on teens and dating violence.
Here are a few things to know and share when working with tweens and teens to help spot teen dating violence and promote healthy relationships.
The first thing you will need know- what is a Red Flag?
A Red Flag is a sign or behavior that you see in someone that could turn problematic later; especially as it pertains to forming a relationship.
The most common red flags are lack of communication, control, aggressive behavior, can’t take No for an answer, and disrespect. These are just a few but recognizing these flags will allow you to help teens avoid toxic relationships.
The most important thing you can help young people do is to not ignore what they are seeing or feeling. If they encounter someone who is exhibiting this type of behavior, it is important for them to be aware and know how to handle the behavior. It may be necessary to pause and reflect, evaluate, and decide if they should walk … or better yet run away!
Overall, the key to spotting teen violence it to cultivate self -awareness. If we can help young people love themselves and know their worth, then they will be quick to identify what is healthy versus what is not. Doing this helps young people to avoid red flags and toxicity all together.
About the Author
Stefanie Hayes
Expect Respect Facilitator
HCDVCC
