“Man, We Just Need Spaces Like This” – A Conversation That Changed My Perspective

By Kenneth Scott, Male Engagement Specialist

The other day, I was sitting with a group of young boys at a detention center, just having a real conversation. No judgment. No pretense. Just listening. As we talked, I asked a simple but powerful question:

“What would it take for you to change from the old you to the new you who you want to become?”

One of the boys sat back, thinking for a moment. Then, he looked at me and said something that hit me like a light bulb moment:

“Man, we just need spaces like this—to be able to communicate, open up, and hear from others that I’m not alone. Because I don’t know any better. I only know what I saw or see, but I’m able to see something else from their perspectives in the room.”

That answer stuck with me. Because he’s right.

So often, young boys—especially those in tough environments—don’t get spaces where they can just be real. Where they don’t have to act tough, hold everything in, or pretend they’re not struggling. They need spaces to talk, process, and hear that they’re not the only ones dealing with challenges. Spaces where they can actually breathe without judgment.

And when they do? That’s when change starts to happen.

Because when young boys don’t have these spaces, their unspoken pain can turn into unhealthy behaviors—anger, violence, and cycles of harm that carry into adulthood. Many of the same boys in these detention centers grow up without ever learning how to express themselves, handle conflict, or process emotions in a healthy way—and that can lead to abusive relationships, broken homes, and patterns of domestic violence repeating across generations.

But what if we could break that cycle before it even starts? What if we gave boys the tools to communicate, to manage their emotions, and to understand that real strength isn’t about control—it’s about connection?

Creating spaces for young boys to be heard today means shaping stronger men, better fathers, and healthier families tomorrow. It’s not just about their future—it’s about the future of the people they will one day love, lead, and protect.

Because sometimes, all it takes is knowing you’re not alone and seeing new perspectives to start believing a different path is possible. And that path can change everything.