Once we understand the importance of being an active bystander, the next step is to learn about specific techniques to utilize when intervening. At Rice, we use a method called the “4 D’s”. This method includes the intervention options of: direct, delegate, distract, and delay. Let’s do a quick review of these options.
Using a direct approach is probably what most people think is required in order to be an active bystander. This is a useful technique where we confront the person exhibiting harmful behaviors or the person who we are concerned about. This could include telling a person to stop using slurs and yelling at another person or telling your friend that they have had a lot to drink and that you are taking them home, instead of the guy they just met.
Because not everyone is comfortable with being direct, and it is not always safe, an active bystander can also utilize delegating. This option includes utilizing other people in the community, so you don’t feel alone and can assess the situation together. The people we involve could be a peer, someone who knows the potential perpetrator or victim, or someone with authority or power to intervene.
Distracting is the third option that we teach about. Ultimately, we may not feel it necessary to make every event a “teachable moment”, and we just want to stop the potential violence. So we could talk to one or both of the people involved in the tense situation, maybe about a movie we just saw, we could spill a drink, or pretend like we know one of the people and engage in a chat with them that disconnects them from the other person.
Delay is the last technique and we often do not understand how impactful this option can be. This can be used when we are not able to intervene in the moment, and are concerned about the people involved. We could text or call them and ask them if they are okay. Giving space for someone to talk about experiencing harm even after the incident still counts as intervening and allows you to check on their safety, provide them with emotional support, and possibly provide resources that could help.
It is so important to remember that in any concerning situation that would benefit from an active bystander, that there are many ways to intervene. Speaking up and stopping the violence is the goal, and there are often various routes to get there, and you will make a difference.
About the Author
Cathryn Councill is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and works at Rice University. She is the Director of The SAFE Office, where they focus on education and student support around issues related to interpersonal violence. She also facilitates the LGBTQ+ Ally Training on campus and acts as the staff advisor for the undergraduate peer support/education program as well. She has extensive experience working in the field of domestic and sexual violence, including as case manager, therapist, educator, and group facilitator. She has also provided support to persons living with HIV, those experiencing drug and alcohol addiction, and to the LGBTQ+ community.
Cathryn’s favorite things include being in or near water, all animals and pets, unconditional empathy, rainbows, chai lattes, and her lovely wife.
