Tag: domestic violence

Man, We Just Need Spaces Like This – A Conversation That Changed My Perspective

Post author By Blog Author
Post date March 6, 2025
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“Man, We Just Need Spaces Like This” – A Conversation That Changed My Perspective

By Kenneth Scott, Male Engagement Specialist

The other day, I was sitting with a group of young boys at a detention center, just having a real conversation. No judgment. No pretense. Just listening. As we talked, I asked a simple but powerful question:

“What would it take for you to change from the old you to the new you who you want to become?”

One of the boys sat back, thinking for a moment. Then, he looked at me and said something that hit me like a light bulb moment:

“Man, we just need spaces like this—to be able to communicate, open up, and hear from others that I’m not alone. Because I don’t know any better. I only know what I saw or see, but I’m able to see something else from their perspectives in the room.”

That answer stuck with me. Because he’s right.

So often, young boys—especially those in tough environments—don’t get spaces where they can just be real. Where they don’t have to act tough, hold everything in, or pretend they’re not struggling. They need spaces to talk, process, and hear that they’re not the only ones dealing with challenges. Spaces where they can actually breathe without judgment.

And when they do? That’s when change starts to happen.

Because when young boys don’t have these spaces, their unspoken pain can turn into unhealthy behaviors—anger, violence, and cycles of harm that carry into adulthood. Many of the same boys in these detention centers grow up without ever learning how to express themselves, handle conflict, or process emotions in a healthy way—and that can lead to abusive relationships, broken homes, and patterns of domestic violence repeating across generations.

But what if we could break that cycle before it even starts? What if we gave boys the tools to communicate, to manage their emotions, and to understand that real strength isn’t about control—it’s about connection?

Creating spaces for young boys to be heard today means shaping stronger men, better fathers, and healthier families tomorrow. It’s not just about their future—it’s about the future of the people they will one day love, lead, and protect.

Because sometimes, all it takes is knowing you’re not alone and seeing new perspectives to start believing a different path is possible. And that path can change everything.

Tags bipp, domestic violence, healthy relationship building, men sharing

Cut It Out: Stylist Recognizing, Responding and Referring Clients Experiencing Domestic Violence

Post author By Rebecca Councill
Post date March 2, 2025
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March 17

@

10:00 am

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12:00 pm

CDT

Approximately one in three women and one in nine men will experience domestic violence during their lifetime. Only about thirty-three percent of all survivors of domestic violence will ever contact law enforcement or seek services from a crisis center, which means sixty-seven percent are not accessing help.

The relationship built between stylist (including barbers) is one of mutual trust. Often clients will share intimate details of their life and are open to “advice” from their stylist. Clients are often listening to latest relationship drama from other clients and information is flowing in the salon.

This two hour interactive workshop has been designed for the beauty professional, who is civic minded, and desires to “cut out” domestic violence through providing education and prevention in their salons and barbershops.

Thecia Jenkins

theciajenkins@hcdvcc.org

Zoom

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Tags active bystander, cut it out, domestic violence, hairstylists against domestic violence, mental health, sexualviolence, trauma informed

Legacies Womens History Month

Survivor Pioneers and Women Who Transformed the Domestic Violence Movement

Post author By Rebecca Councill
Post date March 2, 2025
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Honoring Women’s History Month

March is Women’s History Month, a time to celebrate the achievements and resilience of women who have shaped history. In the fight against domestic violence, many brave women have used their voices, experiences, and leadership to advocate for survivors, push for legal reforms, and build support systems. These pioneers have laid the foundation for today’s domestic violence movement, ensuring that survivors receive the help and justice they deserve.

Survivor Leaders Who Made a Difference

Ruth A. White – The Early Voice for Battered Women

One of the earliest survivor advocates, Ruth A. White helped establish the first shelters for battered women in the 1970s. Recognizing the need for safe spaces for survivors fleeing abuse, she worked tirelessly to create resources and public awareness about domestic violence. Her work laid the groundwork for modern domestic violence shelters nationwide.

Mildred Muhammad – From Survivor to Advocate

Mildred Muhammad, the ex-wife of the D.C. Sniper John Allen Muhammad, turned her personal experience of abuse into a powerful advocacy platform. She speaks about the intersection of domestic violence and coercive control, highlighting the dangers survivors face even after leaving abusive relationships. Through her work, she has helped shift the conversation to include emotional and psychological abuse as critical components of domestic violence.

Leslie Morgan Steiner – Giving a Voice to Survivors

Author and advocate Leslie Morgan Steiner uses her story of surviving an abusive relationship to educate others about the warning signs of domestic violence. Her TED Talk, Why Domestic Violence Victims Don’t Leave, has reached millions worldwide, encouraging people to better understand the complexities of abusive relationships.

Women Who Pioneered the Domestic Violence Movement

Dr. Toby Myers -“Godmother” of the Domestic Violence Movement in Texas

Dr. Toby Myers used her experience as a survivor to become a lifelong advocate for women. She is a founding member of the Houston Area Women’s Center, often waking her 3 children in the middle of the night to go unlock the house used as the first HAWC shelter for a woman and her children. She is a founding member of the Texas Council on Family Violence, realizing bringing people together to advocate is the best way to be heard. She helped create AVDA and started The Pivot Project which has turned into one of the most successful and respected battering intervention programs in Texas. She has served, mentored, and guided the Harris County Domestic Violence Coordinating Council from day one. She is the longest tenured Board member of HCDVCC and continues to be active in several HCDVCC committees. Her passion and dedication to women is a bright light in this often-dreary world. She is the guiding star to so many.

Ellen Pence – Transforming the Justice System

Ellen Pence was a leader in changing how the justice system responds to domestic violence. As a co-founder of the Duluth Model, she helped develop the widely used Power and Control Wheel, which illustrates the tactics abusers use to maintain control. Her work has influenced domestic violence intervention programs across the world.

Tiloma Jayasinghe – A Global Advocate for Women’s Rights

Tiloma Jayasinghe has dedicated her career to advocating for survivors on a global scale. As a former leader of Sakhi for South Asian Women, she has worked to provide culturally specific domestic violence services, ensuring that women from immigrant and marginalized communities receive the support they need.

Estér King – A Champion for Policy Reform

Estér King helped shape legislative policies that protect survivors from housing discrimination. Thanks to her advocacy, laws have been enacted to ensure that survivors of domestic violence cannot be evicted simply for experiencing abuse in their homes. Her work has provided stability and security to countless survivors seeking to rebuild their lives.

The Legacy of These Trailblazers

The women highlighted above, along with countless others, have changed the landscape of domestic violence advocacy. From legal reforms to public awareness campaigns, they have fought to make the world safer for survivors. Their contributions continue to inspire new generations of advocates, ensuring that the fight for safety, justice, and empowerment carries on.

As we honor Women’s History Month, let us recognize the courage of survivors and the relentless work of those who have dedicated their lives to ending domestic violence. Their legacy is a reminder that change is possible, and every voice matters in the fight against abuse.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, help is available. Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.org for support.

Tags domestic violence, dr toby myers, international womens day, sexualviolence

Understanding the Intersection of Brain Injury and Intimate Partner Violence: Strategies for Improving Brain Health

Post author By Rebecca Councill
Post date February 10, 2025
No Comments on Understanding the Intersection of Brain Injury and Intimate Partner Violence: Strategies for Improving Brain Health

April 29

@

9:00 am

–

12:00 pm

CDT

Join us as Dr. Valera discusses the prevalence of brain injury, and it’s association with cognitive and psychiatric difficulties in women who have experienced intimate partner violence

Free

Rebecca Councill

281-400-3680

rebeccacouncill@hcdvcc.org

The Church at Bethel’s Family

12660 Sandpiper Dr.

Houston,

Texas

77035

United States

+ Google Map

<br />

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Tags community, domestic violence, dv nonprofit, harris county nonprofits, mental health, nonprofits, trauma informed, traumatic brain injury

Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month

Post author By Rebecca Councill
Post date February 3, 2025

Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month: What to Look For & How to Help

Teen relationships should be fun, safe, and built on mutual respect. But for too many teens, dating turns into something dangerous—something that hurts instead of uplifts. February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, a time to shine a light on an issue that affects 1 in 3 teens in the U.S. If you’re in an unhealthy relationship, know someone who is, or just want to be prepared to support a friend, keep reading.

Spotting the Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship

Teen dating violence isn’t just physical. It can be emotional, psychological, digital, sexual, or financial abuse. The person being abused may not even realize what’s happening at first. Here’s what to look for:

Extreme jealousy or possessiveness – A partner who constantly checks your phone, gets mad if you talk to others, or accuses you of cheating without reason.
Controlling behavior – They tell you who you can and can’t hang out with, what to wear, or how to act.
Love bombing, then withdrawal – At first, they’re over-the-top sweet, texting nonstop, giving gifts, making big promises. Then they pull away, punish you with silence, or make you feel like you’re “too much.”
Embarrassing or humiliating you – Making fun of you in front of others, calling you names, or spreading rumors.
Threats or intimidation – Saying they’ll hurt themselves if you leave, threatening to ruin your reputation, or using fear to control you.
Physical harm – Pushing, hitting, throwing things, or any kind of physical violence—even just once.
Digital abuse – Hacking into your accounts, demanding passwords, sending unwanted explicit photos, or tracking your location.

Red Flags That Shouldn’t Be Ignored

They rush the relationship and say things like, “I’ve never felt this way before” within days or weeks.
You feel like you have to walk on eggshells around them.
They pressure you into things you’re uncomfortable with—whether it’s sex, drugs, or skipping school.
They make you doubt yourself—gaslighting you into thinking you’re overreacting or imagining things.
They isolate you from your family and friends, making you dependent on them.
You feel afraid to leave because you don’t know what they’ll do.

How to Help a Friend in an Abusive Relationship

If you notice a friend pulling away, acting different, or making excuses for their partner’s toxic behavior, they may be in an abusive relationship. It’s not always easy to get through to them, but here’s what you can do:

Believe them. If they open up, listen without judgment. Don’t minimize their experience by saying, “It’s probably not that bad.”
Avoid blaming them. They may not leave right away, and that’s okay. Instead of, “Why don’t you just break up?” try, “I’m here whenever you need me.”
Help them see the signs. Gently point out concerning behaviors. “I’ve noticed your partner always checks your phone. Does that make you uncomfortable?”
Stay connected. Abusers isolate their victims. Keep inviting your friend to hang out and check in often.
Offer a way out. Help them make a safety plan (more on that below) or offer to go with them to talk to a trusted adult.

Getting Out of an Abusive Relationship

Leaving isn’t easy, especially when emotions are involved. But safety comes first. Here’s how to make an exit plan:

Talk to someone you trust – A parent, school counselor, teacher, coach, or friend. You don’t have to do this alone.
Plan your breakup in a safe place – If you’re afraid of their reaction, break up in a public place or over text. Do not meet alone.
Block them on social media and your phone – This prevents them from harassing or manipulating you after the breakup.
Gather evidence – If they’ve been threatening or abusive over text, save screenshots. You may need them later.
Know your escape route – If they show up at your school or house, have a plan on where you’ll go and who you’ll call.
Get professional help – Love Is Respect (866-331-9474) and The National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233) have 24/7 support.

You’re Not Alone – Support Is Out There

No one deserves to feel unsafe in a relationship. If you or someone you know is experiencing dating violence, help is available:

Love Is Respect – Call 866-331-9474 or text “LOVEIS” to 22522 for confidential support.
National Domestic Violence Hotline – 800-799-7233 or chat at thehotline.org.
Talk to a trusted adult – A teacher, coach, school counselor, or family member can help you navigate your next steps.

Dating should feel exciting, safe, and uplifting—never scary or suffocating. If something doesn’t feel right, trust yourself. Help is always available, and you deserve better.

Tags dating violence, domestic violence, dv nonprofit, harris county nonprofits, nonprofits, preventing teen dating violence, sexualviolence, teen dating, teen dating violence, teen dating violence awareness month, trauma informed

February Community Partner Meeting

Post author By Rebecca Councill
Post date January 23, 2025
No Comments on February Community Partner Meeting

February 13

@

2:30 pm

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4:00 pm

CST

Teen Dating Violence Panel

Who you choose to date speaks volumes about your values, priorities, and self-worth—it reflects more about you than your partner.

Did you know most teens face heightened risks of unhealthy relationships between the ages of 11 and 14? Why is this critical stage so impactful?

This is the time when young people begin navigating the transition to peer-driven dynamics, gaining independence, and exploring new opportunities—sports, cheerleading, school activities, and more. While parental support remains present, direct supervision often decreases.

At this age, teens feel invincible, push boundaries, and are curious to try new things. While we prepare them to excel academically and athletically, we often overlook equipping them to recognize the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships.

Just as we encourage preparation for major tests, we must also prepare them for the complexities of dating and relationships. Teaching teens about healthy relationship dynamics now helps prevent future violence and sets them up for success in all aspects of life.

Join us for this important event and help empower the next generation with the tools they need for safe, respectful, and healthy relationships.

About our Panel:

Stefanie serves as the Community Outreach Coordinator with the Harris County Domestic Violence Coordinating Council-(HCDVCC). Here she provides workshops and presentations throughout Houston and surrounding Harris County to help community members be able to recognize, respond, and refer those who are impacted by domestic violence. She also teaches prevention strategies and facilitates groups for Youth on Healthy Relationships and Teen Dating Violence Awareness.

Leila Wood, PhD, MSSW (she/her) is Professor at the University of Texas Health Science Center at Houston (UTHealth) McGovern Medical School, Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences. Leila is the Director of Research and Evaluation at the Center for Violence Prevention and a Social Worker. Leila’s scholarship focuses on community, economic, and school-based intimate partner violence, dating violence, stalking, elder abuse, and sexual assault prevention and intervention approaches across the lifespan.

Ellen Wilder is the Expect Respect Training Manager at The SAFE Alliance in Austin, TX, where I have the privilege of supporting agencies nationwide in addressing and preventing teen dating violence. As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with a Master’s in Education, I bring a unique blend of clinical expertise and teaching experience to my work in training, consulting, and direct care. My career spans diverse settings, roles, and populations, but a common thread is my passion for building deep relationships and partnering with individuals on their healing and growth journeys.