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Tag: domestic violence

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Holidays Op-eds

Supporting Survivors- Shopping Mindfully During the Holidays

The holiday season is a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration for many. However, it’s important to remember that for survivors of domestic violence, the holidays can be a particularly challenging and triggering time. The added stress, financial pressures, and family gatherings can exacerbate their trauma. As we embark on our holiday shopping journeys, it’s essential to keep survivors in mind and take steps to support them during this time. In this article, we’ll explore domestic violence, its impact on survivors, and how we can be more mindful shoppers to help those in need.

Understanding Domestic Violence:
Domestic violence is a pervasive issue that affects individuals of all genders, ages, races, and socioeconomic backgrounds. It encompasses physical, emotional, psychological, and financial abuse, and its consequences can be severe and long-lasting. Survivors often face a multitude of challenges, including fear, trauma, financial instability, and isolation.

The Impact of the Holidays on Survivors:
The holiday season can be particularly difficult for survivors of domestic violence for several reasons:

  • Increased Stress: The pressure to create a perfect holiday atmosphere, buy gifts, and engage in social activities can exacerbate survivors’ stress and anxiety.
  • Financial Strain: Survivors may struggle with limited financial resources due to economic abuse, making holiday expenses even more burdensome.
  • Isolation: Family gatherings can force survivors into uncomfortable situations where they may encounter their abusers or face questions about their relationship status.
  • Triggers: Holiday traditions, such as decorating the tree or exchanging gifts, may be associated with traumatic memories for survivors.

How to Keep Survivors in Mind While Shopping:

  • Support Local Domestic Violence Organizations:
    Consider donating to or volunteering at local domestic violence shelters or organizations. These groups provide critical support to survivors, including safe shelter, counseling, legal assistance, and resources for rebuilding their lives.
  • Choose Ethical and Inclusive Brands:
    Opt for products from brands that actively support survivors and promote gender equality. Look for companies that donate a portion of their profits to domestic violence charities or prioritize hiring survivors.
  • Shop Thoughtfully:
    Be mindful of the gifts you choose. Avoid items that could potentially be used as weapons or trigger traumatic memories. Instead, select thoughtful, non-violent gifts that promote self-care, relaxation, and healing.
  • Gift Cards:
    When in doubt, gift cards to stores or restaurants provide survivors with flexibility and the ability to choose what they need most. Gift cards can also help survivors regain a sense of control over their lives.
  • Respect Boundaries:
    If you’re aware that someone you know is a survivor, respect their boundaries when giving gifts or planning gatherings. Ask for their preferences and avoid pressuring them into uncomfortable situations.
  • Offer Emotional Support:
    Sometimes, a heartfelt note or a simple message of support can mean the world to a survivor. Let them know you care, and that you’re there to listen if they want to talk.

The holiday season should be a time of compassion, empathy, and support for all. By keeping survivors of domestic violence in mind as we shop and celebrate, we can contribute to a safer, more inclusive holiday experience for everyone. Supporting local organizations, choosing ethical brands, and respecting survivors’ boundaries are just a few ways we can make a positive impact during this festive season.

Let’s work together to create a world where survivors can heal and find hope during the holidays and beyond.

Categories
Op-eds

Shining a Light on Domestic Violence

As we prepare to celebrate the holiday season with our loved ones, it’s crucial to remember that not everyone experiences this time of year with warmth and joy. For many individuals and families, the holidays can be a period of heightened stress and danger due to domestic violence. At HCDVCC, we believe it’s essential to shine a light on this issue and offer support to those in need during December and beyond.

Understanding the Holiday Challenge

While the holidays are often depicted as a time of togetherness and happiness, they can also intensify the challenges faced by survivors of domestic violence. The stress associated with financial pressures, family gatherings, and the expectation of joyful celebrations can exacerbate abusive situations. Abusers may use these factors to maintain control, making it difficult for victims to seek help or escape.

The Power of Awareness and Support

This December, let’s make a collective effort to raise awareness about domestic violence during the holiday season. Here are some ways you can help:

  • Share Information: Educate your friends and family about the signs of domestic violence and available resources. Knowledge is a powerful tool for prevention and support.
  • Be a Good Listener: If someone confides in you about their experiences, listen without judgment and offer emotional support. Encourage them to seek help when they are ready.
  • Donate: Consider donating to domestic violence shelters or our Secret Sisters Fund. Your contributions can make a significant difference in the lives of those affected.
  • Spread Awareness: Use your social media platforms and personal networks to share information about domestic violence resources and the importance of seeking help. Use hashtags like #BreakTheSilence and #DVawareness.
  • Plan Safe Celebrations: If you’re hosting gatherings, be mindful of creating a safe and inclusive environment for all attendees. This includes being aware of the dynamics of abuse and offering support discreetly if needed.

Seeking Help

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, please know that help is available. Reach out to local domestic violence hotlines, shelters, or organizations like The National DV Hotline for support, guidance, and resources. Your safety is our top priority.

This December, let’s come together to shine a light on domestic violence and offer hope to those who need it. By raising awareness and providing support, we can make a meaningful difference in the lives of survivors during the holiday season and throughout the year.

If you would like more information or resources, please see our website.

Categories
Op-eds

Gratitude in the Workplace

In a world often marked by its fast pace and relentless demands, it is all too easy to overlook the moments of gratitude that weave through our daily lives. Yet, in the heart of every successful team lies a deep appreciation for the people, experiences, and opportunities that have shaped their journey. As we pause to reflect on what truly matters, we’re reminded that gratitude is not just a fleeting sentiment but a powerful force that fosters unity, resilience, and a profound sense of belonging. We recently asked our team members what they are grateful for and below are their sentiments of gratitude, highlighting the diverse sources of inspiration that fuel our collective spirit and drive us to achieve remarkable results together.
  • I am honored to work with an agency that is, so survivor driven and meets the survivor where they are in their own journey and is supportive of their decisions for what is best for their life and family.
  • I am grateful for the love of my family and friends.
  • I am grateful for the wonderful people in my life- my family, friends, and coworkers (who are like family and friends). It is not often we are blessed with so many people on our journey that “get” us. I love the laughter, the hugs and support I receive daily, especially from my dog!
  • I am grateful to wake up every morning, grateful to be surrounded by loved loves here on earth and those in spirit. I’m grateful to have a place to lay my head to sleep but most importantly to occasionally feel a glimpse of GOD’s love in everyday life to remind me of his love for me.
  • I am grateful for my HCDVCC family. Anytime we connect, it’s always a good vibe.
  • I am grateful for life!
  • I am grateful for excellent health and wealth for my family and true friends!!!
  • 😊 I am so grateful for my immediate, extended and work family. The support that I receive from them all never goes unnoticed. I thank God for each and every one of them and hope and pray that they all are as grateful as I am. 😊
  • I have so many things to be grateful for this year! First and foremost, I am grateful for my health. I was down for a couple of months this year and boy was that a humbling experience. It made me very aware of how for granted I take my physical and mental health. So, this year, THAT is the main thing I am grateful for. For this amazing body and mind that has the capacity to heal and carries me everywhere I need to go. I am also grateful for all the amazing people in my life – from family, friends, colleagues, to clients. They bless me in more ways than I could ever express in words!
  • Grateful to serve in a way that aligns with my spirit and for neurofeedback which has yielded my neuro-regulation 😊.
  • Very grateful for my family & friends who love me unconditionally and give me the strength and power to dodge the curveballs life throws my way.”
  • I am grateful for God, my family, my friends (co-workers included), and my amazing job.
  • I am grateful for the beautiful blessings in my life, including my excellent health, fantastic family, supportive network of friends, and fulfilling job that empowers me to make a positive impact in the world.
  • I am grateful for the honor of working with so many dedicated and passionate people who are trying to lift up and support those experiencing trauma. It is a gift to be able to do this work.
  • I am grateful for having supportive family and friends, and also my amazing team who are so supportive and I know 100% have my back. I am grateful that my team creates this safe space to vent to each other and just support each other when our job gets hard.
  • I am grateful for my family, friends, and the opportunity to be part of change no matter how small it is over the last two decades.
  • As a mobile advocate, I am thankful for the agencies and the service providers we work with and how open and excited they are to learn more about domestic violence in order to provide the best services to their clients. I am thankful for the leadership at these organizations, that understands the need and has greeted the advocates with open arms, eager to learn more about domestic violence and how it intersects in their roles in the community. I am thankful for the service providers that work with survivors and how honest and open they have been with their own stories and experiences and the trust they have in us for their clients and themselves. I am thankful for the brave individuals that have shared with me their experiences, their pain, and their hopes for the future.
  • I am thankful for Life, Health, Family and HCDVCC. Having the ability to help and serve others while providing for my family is an amazing gift.
  • I think what I am most grateful for is being able to work in an industry that means something personally to me.
  • Things I’m grateful for: -my job and the privilege of being able to support survivors in a difficult setting. -my family and friends, who pour into me to keep me going. -my dogs for bringing me joy when I need it the most.
As we conclude our exploration of gratitude within our team, it becomes evident that this simple, yet profound emotion serves as the glue that binds us together. From the smallest acts of kindness to the grandest moments of triumph, our shared gratitude has been the catalyst for collaboration, understanding, and growth. It reminds us that while we may face challenges and uncertainties in our journey, the power of gratitude can illuminate the path ahead, helping us navigate even the most complex of endeavors. As we continue to foster a culture of appreciation, we look forward to the future with renewed optimism, knowing that the bonds forged through gratitude will remain steadfast, guiding us toward even greater achievements and shared moments of thankfulness.
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Community Community Share DVAM

The Afro-American Police Officers League (AAPOL) Honored Houston Police Officer Adrian Rogers with the 2023 Harold L. Preston Patrol Officer of the Year Award!

The AAPOL recognizes exceptional achievement in any police endeavor including, but not limited to displays of extraordinary valor, crime prevention, investigative activity, community outreach, lifesaving, and innovative approaches to police service.  On October 28, 2023, at the AAPOL awards gala Houston Police Department’s Eastside Patrol Officer Adrian Rogers was named the recipient of the 2023 Harold L. Preston Patrol Officer of the Year Award.

In June of 2023, Officer Rogers was on routine patrol in Houston’s east end and observed a woman running and when he approached her, she turned around and he observed her crying, and in fear for her life.  Officer Rogers discovered that the woman had just been assaulted and shot at twice by her boyfriend attempted to blocked her from exiting the house when she escaped and ran for her life.  Officer Rogers was further advised that her boyfriend had a court hearing the next day for Aggravated Assault-Impeding Breath.  Officer Rogers was advised by the woman her boyfriend was in a vehicle backing out of the driveway Officer Rogers along with backup officers follow him to a convenience store.  Officers had the customers exit the convenience store and set up a perimeter when the male’s friends arrived on the scene threatening the complainant.  Officers observed the man pull out his gun and tragically died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound.     

Officer Rogers stated, “This scene was a success because of the actions of the complainant (survivor) and the actions of Eastside Station patrol officers, tactical units, and supervisors. Sergeant Garza, Officer Morales and Officer Ramirez put their lives on the line when they walked into the store with the armed suspect. Sergeant Garza displayed active leadership and poise while giving commands while the suspect had a gun in his hand and Officers’ Morales and Ramirez showed their extraordinary experience and valor by communicating to each other in real time their tactical positions. Lieutenant Wilborn was there on the front lines assisting with scene management.  Eastside evening shift Officers’ Soto, Centeno, Hernandez, and Pellerin assisted with outside perimeter while certain individuals in the crowd were yelling epithets at the survivor.  Night shift officers assisted in taking the complainant back to the original scene while there were several suspicious vehicles circling the target area and there was a real sign of an active threat.  Night shift officers like Officer Brink who stayed with the complainant until she was able to be reunited with her grandmother until 4 am in the morning. Other nightshift officers like Kichamu, Martinez and Judge Jones assisted with scene management. Commander Coleman made the Canal Street scene and managed the media. This incident like many other incidents shows Eastside patrol station is a family that is here for its officers and its community and citizens.”

Officer Rogers recently reunited with the woman, and she indicated that if not for Officer Rogers she thinks that this could have been a domestic violence murder-suicide.  When the woman stated to Officer Rogers that he is her big hero, Officer Rogers stated that she is the hero, she is the person that escaped the situation.  Officer Rogers and all the officers who made this scene should be commended for their professionalism, teamwork, and safety techniques. 

Responding to domestic violence calls for service is one of the most volatile and dangerous situations for police officers.  They lead to about 14 percent of officer deaths every year according to the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI). Domestic violence constitutes anywhere from 15 to 50 percent of total calls received by police, according to the National Institute of Justice.  Officers are also hurt in domestic violence responses.  FBI data show of all officers who were assaulted in 2021, nearly 29 percent were responding to disturbance calls.      

Everyone involved in the domestic violence intervention is a hero.  The intervention is a partnership among law enforcement, victim advocates, community members and social service providers though which police and prosecutors clearly communicate to abusers that intimate partner violence is violence, and violence won’t be tolerated in our community.     Helping survivors and their families and the relentless pursuit to end domestic violence is our community mission.                

Watch the video below!

About the Author

Kira Webster, Lieutenant at the Houston Police Department

Major Assault & Family Violence Division

Categories
DVAM

November: A Month of Gratefulness

As the calendar pages turn and we step into the crisp, autumnal embrace of November, we are reminded that this month carries a unique spirit of gratitude. With Thanksgiving just around the corner in many parts of the world, November serves as a poignant reminder of the importance of acknowledging and appreciating the blessings we have in our lives, especially our cherished loved ones.

In a world often bustling with busyness and distractions, it can be easy to overlook the simple yet profound treasures that fill our hearts. November offers us an opportunity to pause, reflect, and express our gratitude for the people who bring love, warmth, and meaning into our lives.

The Importance of Gratefulness:

Gratefulness is more than just a fleeting feeling or a seasonal sentiment; it’s a powerful practice that can enhance our overall well-being and strengthen our relationships. When we express gratitude, whether through words or actions, we not only acknowledge the goodness in our lives but also foster a deeper sense of connection with the people who matter most to us.

Reminding Others of Gratitude:

While expressing gratitude is a personal experience, November encourages us to share our appreciation openly, particularly with our loved ones. Here are some meaningful ways to remind those we care about how much they mean to us:

  • Handwritten Letters: A heartfelt letter or note, written by hand, can convey your gratitude in a personal and touching way. Share specific memories or qualities you admire in the person to make your message even more special.
  • Quality Time: Spend quality time with your loved ones. Whether it’s a leisurely walk in the park, a cozy evening at home, or a long-overdue catch-up over coffee, the gift of your time speaks volumes.
  • Acts of Kindness: Small acts of kindness can make a big difference. Cook a favorite meal, lend a helping hand, or surprise them with a thoughtful gesture that shows you care.
  • Verbal Appreciation: Sometimes, a simple “thank you” and “I love you” can brighten someone’s day and remind them of your gratitude. Be sincere and specific in your compliments.
  • Create Memories: Plan special activities or outings to create new memories together. These shared experiences can deepen your bond and provide more reasons to be thankful.
  • Gifts from the Heart: Thoughtful gifts, chosen with care and consideration for the recipient’s interests and preferences, can be a tangible expression of your appreciation.
  • Support and Empathy: Offer your support during challenging times. Let your loved ones know that you are there for them, ready to listen, empathize, and assist in any way you can.

The Ripple Effect of Gratitude:

When we openly express our gratitude to our loved ones, we not only strengthen our relationships with them but also inspire a culture of gratitude in our communities. Acts of kindness and expressions of appreciation have a ripple effect, encouraging others to reflect on their own blessings and share their gratitude as well.

In this November, let us embark on a journey of gratefulness that extends beyond a single day or month. May we remind ourselves and those around us of the immense value of our loved ones and the joy they bring into our lives. As we cultivate a spirit of gratitude, we contribute to a world that is warmer, more connected, and filled with the love and appreciation we all deserve.

If you or someone you know is in danger, call the National Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE.
Categories
DVAM

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Today marks the end of October. A day that is filled with costumes and candy, but it is also the end of a month overflowing with press conferences, trainings, galas, walks, and vigils to commemorate Domestic Violence Awareness Month. One month of recognition among the many months of causes and awareness does not mean the impact of the pandemic of domestic violence is not there the other eleven months. Those of us that work in this field understand that domestic violence is a 24/7/365 problem. While we appreciate the time, attention and funds that are given to DV during October we know that so much more is needed.

We share “our” month with another epidemic, breast cancer. While both are “women’s” issues it seems it is so much easier to support breast cancer because we never hear anyone question what someone did to get breast cancer like we constantly hear the victim blaming about DV- “Why did she stay?” “What did she do?” “I would never allow myself to be in that situation.” We see pink everywhere- on athletes, news anchors, cars, badges, and sidelines yet we rarely see purple.

The numbers keep fluctuating, but there is never a minute, much less an hour or a day that goes by, that there is not some type of domestic violence incident. We keep hearing the numbers are up, the numbers are down but does it really matter? Even one incident is too much. Everyone deserves to live in a home free from not just physical violence but emotional, reproductive, and financial abuse as well. Children deserve to have a safe place to lie down their head at night without waking up to shouts, thumps, and bumps in the night. We need to stop the victim blaming. We need to hold those who cause harm accountable. So many more resources are needed for both the victims and those who cause the harm. Affordable housing, affordable childcare, employment, and a living wage for all.

While the month of October exhausts us with all the events and remembrances just imagine the fear and exhaustion a victim lives with constantly. Let’s be there for them, let’s stop blaming them. A DV survivor is the strongest person I know because they are doing or have done everything than can to survive. So, let’s celebrate their survival and honor those we have lost. Let’s continue to do that 24/7/365 until we can eradicate this horrible pandemic.

If you or someone you know is in danger, call the National Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE.
Categories
Community Community Share DVAM

Houston Police Department (HPD) 42nd Annual Hispanic Officer of the Year Awards Reception Honored Family Violence Detective Kassandra Garza for 2023 Non-Uniformed Hispanic Officer of the Year!

The 42nd annual Houston Hispanic Police Officer luncheon recognizes outstanding efforts of HPD officers who go above and beyond their duties. Detective Garza was named the 2023 Non-Uniformed Hispanic Officer of the Year.

Detective Garza displays a high degree of professionalism for victim/survivors to share their experiences of abuse and assault empowering victim/survivors, with hope of enhanced engagement with the criminal justice system and prosecution. Detective Garza maintains engaged compassion while at the same time ensuring respect and impartiality for all participants. Detective Garza completes thorough and complete investigations into the serious crime of domestic violence and ensures warrants are executed due to the high risk of ongoing violence. Detective Garza is a team player within our squad and always willing to assist other detectives. Detective Garza attends trainings related to domestic violence “best practices” and resources available to the community and works cooperatively with the citizens to prevent crime, enforce the law, preserve the peace, and provide a safe environment.

We recently collaborated with Project Beloved to install the soft interview room(s) within our department which allowed for hard conversations related to domestic violence and sexual assault. Project Beloved was founded following the brutal rape and strangulation incident. Working with the Office of Community Affairs Detective Garza assisted with the Spanish video voice over translation with compassion and grace supporting the founder of Project Beloved as she described her experience as a mother of a murder victim in hopes of preventing future murders. Detective Garza is a passionate advocate for victims of domestic violence and sexual assault proudly representing our department and gave a voice of hope and outreach to survivors/victims.

Tragically, Detective Garza’ extended family experienced a domestic violence murder firsthand with a family member who was kidnapped at gunpoint in Pasadena and later found dead of a gunshot wound in Houston, with police naming her ex-boyfriend as a suspect and the trial pending. Detective Garza has displayed personal courage and fortitude to provide comprehensive, collaborative services for everyone affected by domestic violence while passionately working to end this epidemic.

Finally, Detective Garza each day performs her duties in an exemplary manner proudly representing herself with all the many titles she has among them mother, daughter, aunt, friend, and Detective of the Houston Police Department. Detective Garza serves as an inspiration to us all for the dedication to service she displays each day to ensure our community is safe. Detective Garza proudly represents herself as a member of the Hispanic community and in everything she does she is compassionate and attempting to help people. Detective Garza truly represents the positive future our department has due to her dedication and professionalism.

About the Author

Kira Webster, Lieutenant at the Houston Police Department

Major Assault & Family Violence Division

Categories
DVAM

Understanding and Creating a Safety Plan: A Guide for Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Domestic Violence Awareness Month is a crucial time to share knowledge, spread awareness, and provide essential resources to those in need. One such crucial resource is a Safety Plan.

A Safety Plan is a personalized, practical plan that includes ways to remain safe while in a relationship, planning to leave, or after you leave. Safety planning involves how to cope with emotions, tell friends and family about the abuse, take legal action, and more.

Below is an outline of what a Safety Plan is, how to create one, how to keep it private, and what to do if you need help.
What is a Safety Plan?
A Safety Plan is a comprehensive and detailed plan designed to prioritize your safety and the safety of your children and pets in situations of domestic abuse. It’s crucial for victims of domestic violence, providing them with structured guidance and a set of actionable steps that enhance their security in various situations.

Creating a Safety Plan
While You’re in the Relationship:

  • Identify Safe Areas in the Home: Know where to go if an argument occurs. Avoid small, enclosed spaces or rooms with weapons.
  • Develop a Code Word or Signal: Establish a word, phrase, or signal you can use with friends, family, or coworkers to indicate that you are in danger and need help.
  • Keep Essential Items Accessible: Have important items and documents readily available, so you can leave quickly.

When You’re Preparing to Leave:

  •  Choose the Right Time: Plan to leave at a time when your abuser is least likely to be around.
  • Pack a Bag: Have a bag packed with necessary items (clothing, medications, etc.) and keep it in a safe, easily accessible place.
  • Pack important documents- like Driver’s License, Social Security Card (for you and all your children), birth certificates, Passports, Immigration Documents, etc
  • Secure Funds: Save money or make arrangements for finances.
  • Know Where to Go: Plan where you will go and how you will get there. Avoid places where the abuser might find you.

After Leaving the Abuser:

  • Change Locks: If you’re staying in your home, change the locks as soon as possible.
  • Obtain a Protective Order: If necessary, get a protective order and keep it on you at all times.
  • Change Routines: Alter your daily routines to avoid encountering the abuser.

Keeping Your Safety Plan Private

  • Use a Safe Device: When researching or creating your safety plan, use a computer or phone that the abuser does not have access to.
  • When you get a new cellphone do not download anything from the Cloud. Tracking apps could be in your cloud account.
  • Protect Your Online Information: Change passwords and enhance online security.
  • Inform Trusted Friends or Family: Let them know about your safety plan so they can also remain vigilant.

Seeking Help

Don’t hesitate to reach out for help:

  • National Domestic Violence Hotline (US): Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit www.thehotline.org.
  • Local Shelters and Organizations: Find local resources that can provide assistance.
  • Law Enforcement: In an emergency, call 911 or your local authorities.

Remember, you are not alone, and creating a Safety Plan is a significant step towards ensuring your safety and wellbeing. Utilize the resources available and prioritize your security and peace of mind this Domestic Violence Awareness Month and beyond. Your life matters, and taking action to protect it is not just your right, but a crucial step towards a future free from abuse.

If you or someone you know is in danger, call the National Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE.
Our Mission:
To improve Harris County’s response to domestic violence, we lead efforts to build collaborative systems and innovative programs that increase access to services and safety.
Our Vision:
We envision a community where all persons have relationships that are safe, healthy, and free from domestic violence.
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