Live Stream Town Hall for Teen Dating Violence Awareness
Join ABC13’s Daniela Hurtado and community changemakers for an Action 13 town hall, highlighting rising concerns about teen dating violence.
Tag: domestic violence
Expect Respect is a program offered through SAFE in Austin, Tx.. The purpose of the program is to promote healthy relationships among teens. Recently, SAFE partnered with HCDVCC to offer this program to youth in grades 6-12. As we are leading up to February, which is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, facilitator Stefanie Hayes is teaching the youth how to be aware and recognize Red Flags that can lead to dating violence. Stefanie also serves as a support to the educators, parents, and communities that serve our youth by providing prevention and the basics on teens and dating violence.
Here are a few things to know and share when working with tweens and teens to help spot teen dating violence and promote healthy relationships.
The first thing you will need know- what is a Red Flag?
A Red Flag is a sign or behavior that you see in someone that could turn problematic later; especially as it pertains to forming a relationship.
The most common red flags are lack of communication, control, aggressive behavior, can’t take No for an answer, and disrespect. These are just a few but recognizing these flags will allow you to help teens avoid toxic relationships.
The most important thing you can help young people do is to not ignore what they are seeing or feeling. If they encounter someone who is exhibiting this type of behavior, it is important for them to be aware and know how to handle the behavior. It may be necessary to pause and reflect, evaluate, and decide if they should walk … or better yet run away!
Overall, the key to spotting teen violence it to cultivate self -awareness. If we can help young people love themselves and know their worth, then they will be quick to identify what is healthy versus what is not. Doing this helps young people to avoid red flags and toxicity all together.
About the Author
Stefanie Hayes
Expect Respect Facilitator
HCDVCC
Categories
US Court Ruling response
RESPONSE
Local Domestic Violence Agencies stand united in outrage at the recent ruling on February 2, 2023, by the 5th US Circuit Court of Appeals declaring a law that restricts those with domestic violence restraining and protective orders from owning firearms unconstitutional. An Nisa, Aid to Victims of Domestic Violence, Bay Area Turning Point, The Bridge Over Troubled Waters, DAYA, Family Ties, Family Time, Fresh Spirit Wellness, The Empowered Survivor, Harris County Domestic Violence Coordinating Council, Houston Area Women’s Center, and Northwest Assistance Ministries Family Violence Program stand together in opposition of a ruling that has devastating and deadly consequences for those suffering the trauma of intimate partner violence.
According to the Texas Council on Family Violence’s Honoring Texas Victims report, in 2021 204 Texans were killed by their intimate partner, 46 in Harris County alone. Of the 46 killed in Harris County, 35 or 76% were killed by a firearm, and over 50% of those killed were black women. Additionally, 34% of the offenders were prohibited from possessing a firearm under Texas law and 40% were prohibited from possessing a firearm under federal law. The number one predictor of a domestic violence homicide is the threat of homicide and the ownership of a firearm. An 11 city study found “…increased risk of intimate partner femicide included perpetrator’s access to a gun and previous threat with a weapon” (Campbell, 2003). Yet three judges – in their infinite wisdom – found it unconstitutional to protect women. Aren’t laws intended to err on the side of protecting people rather than harming them? For the record, in Texas, protective orders are civil legal lawsuits that are granted when domestic violence has occurred and there is a strong likelihood that it will continue. Protective orders help create boundaries of safety for a survivor by restricting harm doers from going to survivors’ homes, workplaces, and/or schools while also strictly forbidding the person from communicating in a threatening or harassing manner. These orders can be granted for any amount of time, and prior to this decision, required the surrender of a firearm for the duration of the order.
This court ruling is one more devastating decision, especially for survivors in Texas, that creates greater challenges for them to become safer. We know that firearms are the number one method of homicide for victims of intimate partner violence and rulings like this only send the message that the safety of women is not a priority. As Harris County continues to see the highest number of domestic violence related fatalities in the state of Texas, it is incumbent upon us all to ensure access to services and protections including the recognition that underserved communities of color experience the highest rates of homicides and the lowest rates of accessing formal services for protections.
One of the strongest protections has been the requirement of surrendering firearms when there is a protective order in place. This law has SAVED lives even as a voluntary program. Wait, what? Yes, you read that right – a voluntary gun surrender program. Currently, in Harris County, if a protective order is granted against a harm doer who owns a gun, they are offered a way to voluntarily surrender it through Harris County’s Safe Surrender Program. Thanks to the laxed and conflicting laws about gun ownership in Texas, actually requiring someone to surrender it with some type of investigation, enforcement and/or accountability does not happen. While Harris County’s Safe Surrender Program is not perfect, it is our best attempt at giving an alternative in adhering to the mandate to surrender firearms when a protective order is granted. It is a step towards increasing safety for survivors. Now even this small step in progress feels insignificant as this court decision strips survivors of more and more protections that should be due to them under the law.
Countless numbers of women have relayed stories to advocates in our community about the threats they received to be shot and killed, and for many women, this threat is made real. In 2022 our community experienced extremely high rates of deadly intimate partner violence and ever-increasing felony level assaults. No one can watch the news on a nightly basis without hearing about another tragic death. Families are suffering and front-line workers are exhausted and cannot keep up with the need. Our community should never have to face losing – a neighbor, a family member, a friend, a Houstonian – due to intimate partner violence. And…now this court ruling supporting the ownership of firearms when there is a protective order – UNACCEPTABLE.
Along with the highest number of homicides, Harris County continues to see the highest turn away rate for emergency shelter, a housing waitlist over 900 families deep, and long wait lists for counseling and therapeutic services. One domestic violence homicide can cost a community close to 15 million dollars (DeLIsis et al., 2010). This cost cannot even begin to account for the loss of a mother to her children, or a family member. Yet – we can put our priority on ensuring that the right to bear firearms is more important than the right to be SAFE.
We will not be quiet, we will not let go, we will unite our voices of outrage and the need to support laws that SAVE lives, not destroy them. Our leaders and decision makers need to hear us and make change to eradicate the laws that support the senseless death of survivors at the hands of a would be loved one. There is still much work to be done and we will not stop advocating for protection for victims and survivors that are affected by the lack of laws and protections from firearms.
NO MORE
NNEDV Statement Regarding United States v. Rahimi
BWJP Reacts to the United States Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit’s Disappointing Ruling Undermining Federal Firearms Prohibitions for Persons Who Have Committed Acts of Domestic Violence – BWJP
https://tcfv.org/wp-content/uploads/Call-to-Action-Gun-Violence-Final.pdf
Categories
Statement to KPRC 2
Statement to KPRC 2
By: Barbie Brashear and Amy Smith
The blatant disregard for the safety of the victim in the Aubrey Taylor case is just another concern in the long line of issues relating to how Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) is addressed in Harris County. Harris County consistently leads our State in IPV homicides. The Harris County Domestic Violence Coordinating Council and our Community Partners have numerous programs in place to assist victims of IPV but without the support of the entire Community and especially all involved within the Criminal Justice System, we will keep leading the State in IPV homicides.
There are many barriers to leaving an abusive situation, one including increased violence and risk for homicide when making the decision to leave. How will the victim be safe from their abuser? For a victim, knowing her offender is in custody gives her the ability to develop and employ a safety plan for when and if the perpetrator is released. This respite has increasingly become even shorter with the bond conditions that are being assigned case after case.
One can only imagine the depth of terror felt by the victim while being held by the offender over several days. The abuse the victim suffered at his hands is unfathomable. While we know an offender is innocent until proven guilty, his previous convictions lead us to believe that he perhaps is not going to follow the law, that committing further violence in the future is more than possible, and our system will not hold him accountable. The intimate partner violence field has tools and knowledge that can be used by criminal justice systems to assess for risk for intimate partner violence and the likelihood of homicide to occur. These tools can be used by law enforcement as well as the judicial response to assist in decision making including the assignment of appropriate bonds – WHY ARE WE NOT USING THEM? Harris County is the 3rd largest county in the United State and we lag far behind in dedicating resources to ensuring that our systems and first responders are using the most up to date tools and technology. Additionally, we lag behind in ensuring that all of our systems are looking at the same information related to cases. What is happening that Judges aren’t looking at the totality of the case or of the history – why is our county not using evidence-based risk assessment tools to make consistent and informed decisions? Assigning bonds should require the use of the most reliable and validated tools that can ensure that these decisions are informed by information rather than personal speculation. In the case at hand, the assigning of a low bond – $1 – sends the message to the alleged offender that acts of violence against a loved one are really no big deal and the system will not be holding you accountable for the violence. The message the victim receives is that her life and the lives of all those suffering from IPV are not important and again, the system will not create a way to hold the person using violence accountable, nor afford her the time to increase her safety.
IPV has deadly consequences that can be seen every day. It is a crime that requires serious and thoughtful actions throughout the responding systems to ensure that victims are believed, supported, and protected. Harris County needs to step up and support victims and not treat the abuse they suffer as a family problem. It is a community problem requiring a coordinated community response.
In 2022 our community experienced extremely high rates of deadly intimate partner violence and ever-increasing felony level assaults. No one can watch the news on a nightly basis without hearing about another tragic death. Families are suffering and front-line workers are exhausted and cannot keep up with the need. Our community should never have to face losing a member due to intimate partner violence. As we look ahead to 2023, we ask you to join us in imagining our community without any intimate partner homicides.
There is a very long history of resolution making that begins on the very first day of the new year. Many reflect on the past year’s deeds and resolve to do better by creating positive change in the year ahead. If we could collectively look to the new year and imagine a safer community for families, what resolutions should WE make?
Join us in setting an intention for ending intimate partner deaths – what resolutions need to be made in our community? What would it take for our community to do better? Let’s resolve not one more death…
Adding your resolution by clicking the button on the right will add it to our website!
This is what our community said:
Mental health awareness at worksites that have a high number of employees without employer resources like health insurance. For example, refinery workers, that work long hours.
More affordable housing.
Competitive pay for advocates.
The resolution I would make is to continue sharing my story of overcoming domestic violence to inspire and encourage others to do the same!
I think it would take our community re-framing our mindset from domestic violence being a family issue to domestic violence is a community issue. And with our entire community taking a stance, we create a real possibility of living in a world free of domestic violence.
Funding to help those experiencing partner violence.
Better communication between law enforcement agencies and the criminal justice system.
More funding for rehabilitation and re entry programs for those facing domestic violence charges.
More funding for preventative and community education – it is a community problem.
To shine a light on abusive behavior and resolve to not allow family or friends to minimize the damage of IPV with jokes or other minimizing behaviors.
I resolve to be a safe person for friends and family that are experiencing IPV in their lives.
I resolve to be an open door and answering questions a friend or family member has concerning the dynamics of intimate partner violence – no wrong questions.
I resolve to provide age-appropriate education and information to younger family and friends about the dynamics of IPV and how be in a healthy relationship.
Focus on rehabilitating offenders who typically victimize many and are often trauma survivors as well.
Treat others like you want others to treat you. (Simple yet difficult)
Media campaigns to bring education and awareness of the issue without blaming the victims, as well as providing essential resources to the community via funding for expansion of high risk programs.
About the Author
Executive Director of HCDVCC,
Barbie Brashear
For over 40 years our nation has observed national domestic violence awareness month in October. During these years the movement has accomplished many milestones, including improved laws and legislation, dedicated annual funding, the expansion of services across the nation, the adoption of protocols and tools to assess for lethality and improve safety planning, the implementation of a national domestic violence hotline, and so much more. So…I am wondering how and why there is neglect in giving attention and resources to addressing the root of the problem – what is causing the violence in the first place? There are so many factors that contribute to the perpetuation of intimate partner violence, and as someone who has offered training on the myths and facts of IPV, I am ever reminded that these myths are so powerful that they often control the narrative.
One of the first myths I learned to debunk was that violence is normal and just happens – it is not normal and there is choice in using tactics to attain power and control in a relationship. Might our community also have choice in adopting core values that demand and require the prevention of intimate partner violence? Might we require the adoption of measures that address the root cause and focus on learning what it means to have a healthy relationship? Might we prioritize and FUND interventions that address toxic stress and trauma in childhood, economic disparity and distress, gender based inequity, patriarchal control of women’s bodies and decisions – just to name a few? Might we increase and right size resources and funding to service providers so that they do not have to have waitlists or turn away those in need, as well as to law enforcement and prosecutors to give the dedicated time and attention required for fully addressing the criminal justice system needs of these cases? Might we prioritize financial resources to those fleeing – so that they need not flee at all -but be safe and housed as they want and choose? Might we prioritize resources for interventions that are devised to address those who are using violence in their relationships? In Harris County we have seen a tremendous and overwhelming increase in domestic violence felonies and homicides over the past two years, and it continues to grow. Every day a woman is severely injured or killed by an intimate partner. How is this OK?
I have the honor of being part of meetings on a regular basis with people in our community who have dedicated their lives to service. This includes police officers, prosecutors, social workers, and community advocates. Recently one meeting allowed for the sharing of the complete mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion being experienced – leading to questions of how are we really making a difference? Where are the resources that we need to really make a difference? Why do our community leaders not listen to what is truly needed? WE ARE TIRED! Tired of doing this really difficult work and still seeing families devastated, tired of women killed, tired of families being uprooted and homeless, tired of people being unable to access a service or leaving a message hoping someone will call them back, tired of people giving up hope, TIRED. This is UNACCEPTABLE! This month I am reflecting on the many stories of women who have used every ounce of MOXIE to survive, to get through another day, to find a way to accept hope and healing, to find their voice in anyway possible. I am also reflecting on the many people in service, those who work tireless, and thanklessly to try to improve safety and prevent homicides. The work is hard, the days are long, the thanks are few – AND – the need is GREAT, and the ability to effect change is possible – HOPE IS REAL. My sincerest thanks and gratitude for the many that continue this work – THANK YOU!
One of the first myths I learned to debunk was that violence is normal and just happens – it is not normal and there is choice in using tactics to attain power and control in a relationship. Might our community also have choice in adopting core values that demand and require the prevention of intimate partner violence? Might we require the adoption of measures that address the root cause and focus on learning what it means to have a healthy relationship? Might we prioritize and FUND interventions that address toxic stress and trauma in childhood, economic disparity and distress, gender based inequity, patriarchal control of women’s bodies and decisions – just to name a few? Might we increase and right size resources and funding to service providers so that they do not have to have waitlists or turn away those in need, as well as to law enforcement and prosecutors to give the dedicated time and attention required for fully addressing the criminal justice system needs of these cases? Might we prioritize financial resources to those fleeing – so that they need not flee at all -but be safe and housed as they want and choose? Might we prioritize resources for interventions that are devised to address those who are using violence in their relationships? In Harris County we have seen a tremendous and overwhelming increase in domestic violence felonies and homicides over the past two years, and it continues to grow. Every day a woman is severely injured or killed by an intimate partner. How is this OK?
I have the honor of being part of meetings on a regular basis with people in our community who have dedicated their lives to service. This includes police officers, prosecutors, social workers, and community advocates. Recently one meeting allowed for the sharing of the complete mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion being experienced – leading to questions of how are we really making a difference? Where are the resources that we need to really make a difference? Why do our community leaders not listen to what is truly needed? WE ARE TIRED! Tired of doing this really difficult work and still seeing families devastated, tired of women killed, tired of families being uprooted and homeless, tired of people being unable to access a service or leaving a message hoping someone will call them back, tired of people giving up hope, TIRED. This is UNACCEPTABLE! This month I am reflecting on the many stories of women who have used every ounce of MOXIE to survive, to get through another day, to find a way to accept hope and healing, to find their voice in anyway possible. I am also reflecting on the many people in service, those who work tireless, and thanklessly to try to improve safety and prevent homicides. The work is hard, the days are long, the thanks are few – AND – the need is GREAT, and the ability to effect change is possible – HOPE IS REAL. My sincerest thanks and gratitude for the many that continue this work – THANK YOU!
About the Author
Executive Director of HCDVCC,
Barbie Brashear
Categories
Out of Line
Often when folks think of bystander intervention, they envision intervening in the moment when something harmful is about to happen. Out of Line, a small group of community members are approaching bystander intervention a bit differently and were honored to receive Texas Association Against Sexual Assault’s 2021 Community Engagement Award for their prevention of violence work in the City of South Houston. The name Out of Line signifies the importance of stepping out of line to disrupt society’s harmful social norms. Our group believes it is important to stand up for radical change to transform our communities into safe and accepting places. We meet at least once a week via zoom or at a local coffee shop. Sometimes we are in our pjs, sitting outside the gym or just clocking out of work to organize, plan, and imagine new ways to engage our community.
These new ways include listening and learning from community. What do our community members want and need? How can we incorporate play, laughter and prioritize authentic relationship building? After taking time to learn what our community members wanted, we held a Movie Night in the Park, a Loteria Night, a Meditation in the Park event, a virtual cooking and make up tutorial class, a family game night, two storytelling nights focusing on mental health and body image and a Tie Dye and Tacos Party. We are currently planning a series of networking nights for small business owners or individuals considering beginning their own business. You may be wondering what any of this has to do with bystander intervention or prevention of violence. We know that violence is reduced through fostering genuine connection, empathy, and equity within our community, and these are the qualities we infuse in our events. Out of Line believes in a future without violence and we charge you to also consider the ways in which you can work alongside your community to create safer, equitable spaces affirming of people of all identities.
Originally referred to as Close to Home, the group decided to change their name to something that best defined their personalities and their community work. The name signifies the importance of stepping out of line to disrupt society’s harmful social norms. The group believes it is important to step out and stand up for radical change to transform our communities into a safe and accepting place, even if people think they are out of line for doing so.
Out of line meets every week at 8 PM. Their meetings are filled with laughter, ideas, and dreams, allowing members to be their authentic selves. Sometimes they’re in bed in their pajamas, or just clocking out from work, or waiting in their car outside the gym… regardless of where they are, every member has always been committed to finding new ways to engage their community.
Out of Line is dedicated to creating a sense of connectedness and cultivating community gatherings in the name of supporting survivors, healing communities through positive relationships, mental health support initiatives, open spaces for vulnerable and powerful conversations, and planning for the next steps to continue engagement. Some of the group’s events include a community movie night, Loteria game night, tie-dye party, Meditation and self-care discussion, Virtual cooking class, dance class for survivors, and more.
These new ways include listening and learning from community. What do our community members want and need? How can we incorporate play, laughter and prioritize authentic relationship building? After taking time to learn what our community members wanted, we held a Movie Night in the Park, a Loteria Night, a Meditation in the Park event, a virtual cooking and make up tutorial class, a family game night, two storytelling nights focusing on mental health and body image and a Tie Dye and Tacos Party. We are currently planning a series of networking nights for small business owners or individuals considering beginning their own business. You may be wondering what any of this has to do with bystander intervention or prevention of violence. We know that violence is reduced through fostering genuine connection, empathy, and equity within our community, and these are the qualities we infuse in our events. Out of Line believes in a future without violence and we charge you to also consider the ways in which you can work alongside your community to create safer, equitable spaces affirming of people of all identities.
Originally referred to as Close to Home, the group decided to change their name to something that best defined their personalities and their community work. The name signifies the importance of stepping out of line to disrupt society’s harmful social norms. The group believes it is important to step out and stand up for radical change to transform our communities into a safe and accepting place, even if people think they are out of line for doing so.
Out of line meets every week at 8 PM. Their meetings are filled with laughter, ideas, and dreams, allowing members to be their authentic selves. Sometimes they’re in bed in their pajamas, or just clocking out from work, or waiting in their car outside the gym… regardless of where they are, every member has always been committed to finding new ways to engage their community.
Out of Line is dedicated to creating a sense of connectedness and cultivating community gatherings in the name of supporting survivors, healing communities through positive relationships, mental health support initiatives, open spaces for vulnerable and powerful conversations, and planning for the next steps to continue engagement. Some of the group’s events include a community movie night, Loteria game night, tie-dye party, Meditation and self-care discussion, Virtual cooking class, dance class for survivors, and more.
About the Author
Jessica Bellant, MSW is the Education and Prevention Director at The Bridge Over Troubled Waters, Inc.
Jessica provides interactive workshops at the local, regional and state level concerning domestic violence, sexual assault, and prevention of these forms of violence. Jessica previously provided guidance concerning Texas’s prevention of sexual violence programming by serving on the state’s Primary Prevention Planning Committee. Her previous experience includes providing crisis counseling and legal advocacy to survivors of gender-based violence and serving as an adjunct professor. Jessica believes in the power of violence prevention and is dedicating her career to fostering safer communities in SoutheastHarris County.
As we reflect on Independence Day this year, we at Daya reflect on our mission’s core – the belief that every person deserves an independent life free from abuse. We have embodied this belief for 26 years since being founded and are committed to play our part in helping survivors gain freedom.
South Asian survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault face a myriad of barriers when it comes to getting help, oftentimes making staying silent the less risky option. For 26 years, Daya staff, board members, and volunteers have worked to break the silence around domestic abuse in the South Asian community by tirelessly advocating alongside survivors and community leaders. By uplifting the voices of South Asian survivors, Daya has been able to assist more than 400 survivors reclaim independence annually. While we are proud of our work over the last 26 years, we recognize there is still much to be done. As the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic continue, survivors face higher risks and increased vulnerabilities. In just 6 months, Daya has worked alongside 280 survivors who are bravely reclaiming their freedom by ending the cycle of abuse in their relationships.
This work is not done in a silo. Daya is stronger because of the partnerships with our sister organizations who we learn and grow with. Ending the domestic violence will take all of us working in coordination and in solidarity.
We invite you to acknowledge the freedom that results from healthy relationships and independent lives. At Daya, our commitment to independence looks like providing options instead of mandates, spreading knowledge instead of blame, and letting the client lead while always having their back.
South Asian survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault face a myriad of barriers when it comes to getting help, oftentimes making staying silent the less risky option. For 26 years, Daya staff, board members, and volunteers have worked to break the silence around domestic abuse in the South Asian community by tirelessly advocating alongside survivors and community leaders. By uplifting the voices of South Asian survivors, Daya has been able to assist more than 400 survivors reclaim independence annually. While we are proud of our work over the last 26 years, we recognize there is still much to be done. As the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic continue, survivors face higher risks and increased vulnerabilities. In just 6 months, Daya has worked alongside 280 survivors who are bravely reclaiming their freedom by ending the cycle of abuse in their relationships.
This work is not done in a silo. Daya is stronger because of the partnerships with our sister organizations who we learn and grow with. Ending the domestic violence will take all of us working in coordination and in solidarity.
We invite you to acknowledge the freedom that results from healthy relationships and independent lives. At Daya, our commitment to independence looks like providing options instead of mandates, spreading knowledge instead of blame, and letting the client lead while always having their back.
About the Authors
Rachna Khare, Executive Director
Tishya Bedi, Director of Outreach and Education
