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DVAM

November: A Month of Gratefulness

As the calendar pages turn and we step into the crisp, autumnal embrace of November, we are reminded that this month carries a unique spirit of gratitude. With Thanksgiving just around the corner in many parts of the world, November serves as a poignant reminder of the importance of acknowledging and appreciating the blessings we have in our lives, especially our cherished loved ones.

In a world often bustling with busyness and distractions, it can be easy to overlook the simple yet profound treasures that fill our hearts. November offers us an opportunity to pause, reflect, and express our gratitude for the people who bring love, warmth, and meaning into our lives.

The Importance of Gratefulness:

Gratefulness is more than just a fleeting feeling or a seasonal sentiment; it’s a powerful practice that can enhance our overall well-being and strengthen our relationships. When we express gratitude, whether through words or actions, we not only acknowledge the goodness in our lives but also foster a deeper sense of connection with the people who matter most to us.

Reminding Others of Gratitude:

While expressing gratitude is a personal experience, November encourages us to share our appreciation openly, particularly with our loved ones. Here are some meaningful ways to remind those we care about how much they mean to us:

  • Handwritten Letters: A heartfelt letter or note, written by hand, can convey your gratitude in a personal and touching way. Share specific memories or qualities you admire in the person to make your message even more special.
  • Quality Time: Spend quality time with your loved ones. Whether it’s a leisurely walk in the park, a cozy evening at home, or a long-overdue catch-up over coffee, the gift of your time speaks volumes.
  • Acts of Kindness: Small acts of kindness can make a big difference. Cook a favorite meal, lend a helping hand, or surprise them with a thoughtful gesture that shows you care.
  • Verbal Appreciation: Sometimes, a simple “thank you” and “I love you” can brighten someone’s day and remind them of your gratitude. Be sincere and specific in your compliments.
  • Create Memories: Plan special activities or outings to create new memories together. These shared experiences can deepen your bond and provide more reasons to be thankful.
  • Gifts from the Heart: Thoughtful gifts, chosen with care and consideration for the recipient’s interests and preferences, can be a tangible expression of your appreciation.
  • Support and Empathy: Offer your support during challenging times. Let your loved ones know that you are there for them, ready to listen, empathize, and assist in any way you can.

The Ripple Effect of Gratitude:

When we openly express our gratitude to our loved ones, we not only strengthen our relationships with them but also inspire a culture of gratitude in our communities. Acts of kindness and expressions of appreciation have a ripple effect, encouraging others to reflect on their own blessings and share their gratitude as well.

In this November, let us embark on a journey of gratefulness that extends beyond a single day or month. May we remind ourselves and those around us of the immense value of our loved ones and the joy they bring into our lives. As we cultivate a spirit of gratitude, we contribute to a world that is warmer, more connected, and filled with the love and appreciation we all deserve.

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DVAM

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Today marks the end of October. A day that is filled with costumes and candy, but it is also the end of a month overflowing with press conferences, trainings, galas, walks, and vigils to commemorate Domestic Violence Awareness Month. One month of recognition among the many months of causes and awareness does not mean the impact of the pandemic of domestic violence is not there the other eleven months. Those of us that work in this field understand that domestic violence is a 24/7/365 problem. While we appreciate the time, attention and funds that are given to DV during October we know that so much more is needed.

We share “our” month with another epidemic, breast cancer. While both are “women’s” issues it seems it is so much easier to support breast cancer because we never hear anyone question what someone did to get breast cancer like we constantly hear the victim blaming about DV- “Why did she stay?” “What did she do?” “I would never allow myself to be in that situation.” We see pink everywhere- on athletes, news anchors, cars, badges, and sidelines yet we rarely see purple.

The numbers keep fluctuating, but there is never a minute, much less an hour or a day that goes by, that there is not some type of domestic violence incident. We keep hearing the numbers are up, the numbers are down but does it really matter? Even one incident is too much. Everyone deserves to live in a home free from not just physical violence but emotional, reproductive, and financial abuse as well. Children deserve to have a safe place to lie down their head at night without waking up to shouts, thumps, and bumps in the night. We need to stop the victim blaming. We need to hold those who cause harm accountable. So many more resources are needed for both the victims and those who cause the harm. Affordable housing, affordable childcare, employment, and a living wage for all.

While the month of October exhausts us with all the events and remembrances just imagine the fear and exhaustion a victim lives with constantly. Let’s be there for them, let’s stop blaming them. A DV survivor is the strongest person I know because they are doing or have done everything than can to survive. So, let’s celebrate their survival and honor those we have lost. Let’s continue to do that 24/7/365 until we can eradicate this horrible pandemic.

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DVAM

Understanding and Creating a Safety Plan: A Guide for Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Domestic Violence Awareness Month is a crucial time to share knowledge, spread awareness, and provide essential resources to those in need. One such crucial resource is a Safety Plan.

A Safety Plan is a personalized, practical plan that includes ways to remain safe while in a relationship, planning to leave, or after you leave. Safety planning involves how to cope with emotions, tell friends and family about the abuse, take legal action, and more.

Below is an outline of what a Safety Plan is, how to create one, how to keep it private, and what to do if you need help.
What is a Safety Plan?
A Safety Plan is a comprehensive and detailed plan designed to prioritize your safety and the safety of your children and pets in situations of domestic abuse. It’s crucial for victims of domestic violence, providing them with structured guidance and a set of actionable steps that enhance their security in various situations.

Creating a Safety Plan
While You’re in the Relationship:

  • Identify Safe Areas in the Home: Know where to go if an argument occurs. Avoid small, enclosed spaces or rooms with weapons.
  • Develop a Code Word or Signal: Establish a word, phrase, or signal you can use with friends, family, or coworkers to indicate that you are in danger and need help.
  • Keep Essential Items Accessible: Have important items and documents readily available, so you can leave quickly.

When You’re Preparing to Leave:

  •  Choose the Right Time: Plan to leave at a time when your abuser is least likely to be around.
  • Pack a Bag: Have a bag packed with necessary items (clothing, medications, etc.) and keep it in a safe, easily accessible place.
  • Pack important documents- like Driver’s License, Social Security Card (for you and all your children), birth certificates, Passports, Immigration Documents, etc
  • Secure Funds: Save money or make arrangements for finances.
  • Know Where to Go: Plan where you will go and how you will get there. Avoid places where the abuser might find you.

After Leaving the Abuser:

  • Change Locks: If you’re staying in your home, change the locks as soon as possible.
  • Obtain a Protective Order: If necessary, get a protective order and keep it on you at all times.
  • Change Routines: Alter your daily routines to avoid encountering the abuser.

Keeping Your Safety Plan Private

  • Use a Safe Device: When researching or creating your safety plan, use a computer or phone that the abuser does not have access to.
  • When you get a new cellphone do not download anything from the Cloud. Tracking apps could be in your cloud account.
  • Protect Your Online Information: Change passwords and enhance online security.
  • Inform Trusted Friends or Family: Let them know about your safety plan so they can also remain vigilant.

Seeking Help

Don’t hesitate to reach out for help:

  • National Domestic Violence Hotline (US): Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit www.thehotline.org.
  • Local Shelters and Organizations: Find local resources that can provide assistance.
  • Law Enforcement: In an emergency, call 911 or your local authorities.

Remember, you are not alone, and creating a Safety Plan is a significant step towards ensuring your safety and wellbeing. Utilize the resources available and prioritize your security and peace of mind this Domestic Violence Awareness Month and beyond. Your life matters, and taking action to protect it is not just your right, but a crucial step towards a future free from abuse.

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DVAM Voices Of Freedom

Silencing The Shame and Living in Agape: Your Journey Towards Healing

As we step into October, a month dedicated to raising awareness about domestic violence, I want to address a crucial and often overlooked issue that affects countless lives. Why? Because I firmly believe that it’s time for us to collectively confront the pervasive yet often silenced impact of domestic violence.

Personal journeys through domestic violence can often feel profoundly isolating. I know this from my own experience. It was a lonely path until I discovered a community of support. Sadly, many of my loved ones, including church family members, didn’t know how to extend their support. That’s why I’m on a mission to give voice to this topic, recognizing that many women are affected by shame.

If you’ve made it to this paragraph, this topic must interest you. Let’s go deeper. Shame is a distorted identity we place on ourselves when we experience the perception of having done something dishonorable, immoral, or improper. Sometimes, we feel worthless, helpless, powerless, nameless, and hopeless. Seeing ourselves as “less” than is often connected to childhood trauma.

But here’s the profound truth: When we let go of our shame, we can feel more at peace, be happier with who we are, and experience true healing. When we embrace every facet of who we are, we tap into the transformative power of self-love.

Healing is closer than you think. You deserve to live in AGAPE. Healing can start today with:

  • Acceptance and Affirmations: Begin your healing journey by accepting that healing takes time and acknowledging your worth. Affirm yourself with positive self-talk, recognizing that you deserve love and support. Focus on the words “I am”! There is power in affirming your greatness.
  • Guidance from Professionals: Seek advice from trained therapists or counselors who can offer professional support, strategies, and confidential space to help you gain new tools to place in your tool kit for healing. The Harris County Domestic Violence Coordinating Council can be a resource for you. This community helped me in my healing journey.
  • Advocacy for Yourself: Learn what your rights are. Trust me, when you go through the process of self-advocacy, you will, in turn, be a resource for someone else. Advocacy raises your overall level of self-awareness and consciousness.
  • Pursuing Knowledge: Expand your knowledge about domestic violence, its psychological effects, and the resources available for survivors. Learning more about domestic violence helped me understand what my shame was rooted in.
  • Establishing Healthy Boundaries: Recognize the importance of setting and enforcing healthy boundaries to protect your emotional, mental, and physical well-being. NO. is a complete sentence.

Remember, you are not alone, you can silence the shame. We are ready to support you on your path to living a life free from shame.

If you’d like to learn more information about the Silencing the Shame series, please email our Voices of Freedom Ambassador, Lereca Monik. You can also check our weekly newsletter for her series announcements or check her Facebook page here: https://www.facebook.com/lereca.monik

About the Author

Leraca Monik is one of HCDVCC’s Voice of Freedom Ambassadors.

Categories
DVAM

The Importance Of Domestic Violence Awareness Month

person holding a sign "You're not alone!" with the title of the blog in the image "The Importance Of Domestic Violence Awareness Month" in the image.

Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM) is observed every October in the United States. It is a month dedicated to raising awareness about the issues of domestic violence, honoring those who have died, supporting survivors, and mobilizing communities to take action to prevent this devastating crime. The month-long observance plays a crucial role in shedding light on an issue that is often cloaked in silence, and in empowering victims to find safety and healing. While we recognize October as Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we know every day is a battlefield for domestic violence victims, their families, their friends, and our community.

Statistics Highlight the Urgency of the Issue

Domestic violence is a pervasive and deadly issue. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner. Moreover, on a typical day, domestic violence hotlines across the country receive over 20,000 calls, highlighting the urgency and prevalence of the issue.

The Impact of Domestic Violence

The impact of domestic violence extends beyond the physical harm inflicted on victims. It also encompasses emotional, psychological, and financial abuse, all of which can have long-term detrimental effects on victims and their children. The exposure to domestic violence can contribute to a range of emotional and psychological issues, including anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Children who witness domestic violence are more likely to continue the cycle, either as perpetrators or victims in their adult lives.

Supporting Victims and Preventing Violence

Raising awareness about domestic violence is crucial in supporting survivors and preventing further violence. Domestic Violence Awareness Month provides a platform for survivors to share their stories, for communities to learn about the signs of abuse, and for organizations and individuals to share resources and information.

Providing Help Information

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, it’s vital to seek help immediately. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), providing confidential assistance and connecting callers with local resources.

How Others Can Help

Everyone has a role to play in ending domestic violence:

  • Educate Yourself and Others: Learn about the signs of domestic violence and share this information with friends, family, and colleagues.
  • Listen and Believe: If someone discloses that they are experiencing abuse, listen to them, believe their story, and provide non-judgmental support.
  • Support Local Organizations: Donate your time or resources to local organizations working to support survivors and prevent domestic violence.
  • Advocate for Policies: Advocate for policies at local, state, and federal levels that support survivors and hold perpetrators accountable.

Domestic Violence Awareness Month is a critical time for communities to come together to support survivors, remember those who have lost their lives, and work collaboratively to end domestic violence. By raising awareness, providing resources, and fostering a culture of support and accountability, it’s possible to make significant strides towards ending domestic violence for good.