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DVAM

November: A Month of Gratefulness

As the calendar pages turn and we step into the crisp, autumnal embrace of November, we are reminded that this month carries a unique spirit of gratitude. With Thanksgiving just around the corner in many parts of the world, November serves as a poignant reminder of the importance of acknowledging and appreciating the blessings we have in our lives, especially our cherished loved ones.

In a world often bustling with busyness and distractions, it can be easy to overlook the simple yet profound treasures that fill our hearts. November offers us an opportunity to pause, reflect, and express our gratitude for the people who bring love, warmth, and meaning into our lives.

The Importance of Gratefulness:

Gratefulness is more than just a fleeting feeling or a seasonal sentiment; it’s a powerful practice that can enhance our overall well-being and strengthen our relationships. When we express gratitude, whether through words or actions, we not only acknowledge the goodness in our lives but also foster a deeper sense of connection with the people who matter most to us.

Reminding Others of Gratitude:

While expressing gratitude is a personal experience, November encourages us to share our appreciation openly, particularly with our loved ones. Here are some meaningful ways to remind those we care about how much they mean to us:

  • Handwritten Letters: A heartfelt letter or note, written by hand, can convey your gratitude in a personal and touching way. Share specific memories or qualities you admire in the person to make your message even more special.
  • Quality Time: Spend quality time with your loved ones. Whether it’s a leisurely walk in the park, a cozy evening at home, or a long-overdue catch-up over coffee, the gift of your time speaks volumes.
  • Acts of Kindness: Small acts of kindness can make a big difference. Cook a favorite meal, lend a helping hand, or surprise them with a thoughtful gesture that shows you care.
  • Verbal Appreciation: Sometimes, a simple “thank you” and “I love you” can brighten someone’s day and remind them of your gratitude. Be sincere and specific in your compliments.
  • Create Memories: Plan special activities or outings to create new memories together. These shared experiences can deepen your bond and provide more reasons to be thankful.
  • Gifts from the Heart: Thoughtful gifts, chosen with care and consideration for the recipient’s interests and preferences, can be a tangible expression of your appreciation.
  • Support and Empathy: Offer your support during challenging times. Let your loved ones know that you are there for them, ready to listen, empathize, and assist in any way you can.

The Ripple Effect of Gratitude:

When we openly express our gratitude to our loved ones, we not only strengthen our relationships with them but also inspire a culture of gratitude in our communities. Acts of kindness and expressions of appreciation have a ripple effect, encouraging others to reflect on their own blessings and share their gratitude as well.

In this November, let us embark on a journey of gratefulness that extends beyond a single day or month. May we remind ourselves and those around us of the immense value of our loved ones and the joy they bring into our lives. As we cultivate a spirit of gratitude, we contribute to a world that is warmer, more connected, and filled with the love and appreciation we all deserve.

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DVAM

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Today marks the end of October. A day that is filled with costumes and candy, but it is also the end of a month overflowing with press conferences, trainings, galas, walks, and vigils to commemorate Domestic Violence Awareness Month. One month of recognition among the many months of causes and awareness does not mean the impact of the pandemic of domestic violence is not there the other eleven months. Those of us that work in this field understand that domestic violence is a 24/7/365 problem. While we appreciate the time, attention and funds that are given to DV during October we know that so much more is needed.

We share “our” month with another epidemic, breast cancer. While both are “women’s” issues it seems it is so much easier to support breast cancer because we never hear anyone question what someone did to get breast cancer like we constantly hear the victim blaming about DV- “Why did she stay?” “What did she do?” “I would never allow myself to be in that situation.” We see pink everywhere- on athletes, news anchors, cars, badges, and sidelines yet we rarely see purple.

The numbers keep fluctuating, but there is never a minute, much less an hour or a day that goes by, that there is not some type of domestic violence incident. We keep hearing the numbers are up, the numbers are down but does it really matter? Even one incident is too much. Everyone deserves to live in a home free from not just physical violence but emotional, reproductive, and financial abuse as well. Children deserve to have a safe place to lie down their head at night without waking up to shouts, thumps, and bumps in the night. We need to stop the victim blaming. We need to hold those who cause harm accountable. So many more resources are needed for both the victims and those who cause the harm. Affordable housing, affordable childcare, employment, and a living wage for all.

While the month of October exhausts us with all the events and remembrances just imagine the fear and exhaustion a victim lives with constantly. Let’s be there for them, let’s stop blaming them. A DV survivor is the strongest person I know because they are doing or have done everything than can to survive. So, let’s celebrate their survival and honor those we have lost. Let’s continue to do that 24/7/365 until we can eradicate this horrible pandemic.

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DVAM

Understanding and Creating a Safety Plan: A Guide for Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Domestic Violence Awareness Month is a crucial time to share knowledge, spread awareness, and provide essential resources to those in need. One such crucial resource is a Safety Plan.

A Safety Plan is a personalized, practical plan that includes ways to remain safe while in a relationship, planning to leave, or after you leave. Safety planning involves how to cope with emotions, tell friends and family about the abuse, take legal action, and more.

Below is an outline of what a Safety Plan is, how to create one, how to keep it private, and what to do if you need help.
What is a Safety Plan?
A Safety Plan is a comprehensive and detailed plan designed to prioritize your safety and the safety of your children and pets in situations of domestic abuse. It’s crucial for victims of domestic violence, providing them with structured guidance and a set of actionable steps that enhance their security in various situations.

Creating a Safety Plan
While You’re in the Relationship:

  • Identify Safe Areas in the Home: Know where to go if an argument occurs. Avoid small, enclosed spaces or rooms with weapons.
  • Develop a Code Word or Signal: Establish a word, phrase, or signal you can use with friends, family, or coworkers to indicate that you are in danger and need help.
  • Keep Essential Items Accessible: Have important items and documents readily available, so you can leave quickly.

When You’re Preparing to Leave:

  •  Choose the Right Time: Plan to leave at a time when your abuser is least likely to be around.
  • Pack a Bag: Have a bag packed with necessary items (clothing, medications, etc.) and keep it in a safe, easily accessible place.
  • Pack important documents- like Driver’s License, Social Security Card (for you and all your children), birth certificates, Passports, Immigration Documents, etc
  • Secure Funds: Save money or make arrangements for finances.
  • Know Where to Go: Plan where you will go and how you will get there. Avoid places where the abuser might find you.

After Leaving the Abuser:

  • Change Locks: If you’re staying in your home, change the locks as soon as possible.
  • Obtain a Protective Order: If necessary, get a protective order and keep it on you at all times.
  • Change Routines: Alter your daily routines to avoid encountering the abuser.

Keeping Your Safety Plan Private

  • Use a Safe Device: When researching or creating your safety plan, use a computer or phone that the abuser does not have access to.
  • When you get a new cellphone do not download anything from the Cloud. Tracking apps could be in your cloud account.
  • Protect Your Online Information: Change passwords and enhance online security.
  • Inform Trusted Friends or Family: Let them know about your safety plan so they can also remain vigilant.

Seeking Help

Don’t hesitate to reach out for help:

  • National Domestic Violence Hotline (US): Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit www.thehotline.org.
  • Local Shelters and Organizations: Find local resources that can provide assistance.
  • Law Enforcement: In an emergency, call 911 or your local authorities.

Remember, you are not alone, and creating a Safety Plan is a significant step towards ensuring your safety and wellbeing. Utilize the resources available and prioritize your security and peace of mind this Domestic Violence Awareness Month and beyond. Your life matters, and taking action to protect it is not just your right, but a crucial step towards a future free from abuse.

Categories
Community Share Mental Health Awareness Month Sexual Assault Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month

Active Bystander: Empowering Change & Promoting Safety

This month is Bystander Awareness Month! This is a time when we focus on fostering a culture of active bystanders and encouraging individuals to play an essential role in creating safer and more inclusive communities. Let’s explore the concept of an active bystander, delve into the significance of being proactive in various situations, and provide practical steps on what to do when faced with witnessing concerning incidents.

Understanding Active Bystanders:
An active bystander is someone who chooses not to be a passive observer but takes a proactive stance in addressing and preventing harmful situations. Instead of turning a blind eye or assuming someone else will intervene, active bystanders embrace the responsibility of making a positive impact when they see something wrong unfolding before them.

The Importance of Being an Active Bystander:

Promoting Safety: Being an active bystander is crucial for creating a safe environment. By actively intervening or reporting concerning situations, you contribute to the prevention of potential harm to individuals or the community at large.

Fostering Empathy and Compassion: Active bystanders demonstrate empathy and compassion by offering support to those who may be in distress or facing adversity. Your intervention can provide comfort, reassurance, and demonstrate that individuals are not alone in difficult situations.

Challenging Norms and Behaviors: Active bystanders have the power to challenge harmful norms, such as bullying, discrimination, or harassment, by speaking up and standing against such behavior. By doing so, you help establish a new standard of respect, equality, and inclusivity.

What to Do When You See Something:

Assess the Situation: Observe the situation carefully to determine if intervention is necessary or if someone’s safety is at risk. Trust your instincts but be mindful of your personal safety as well.

Call for Help: If immediate danger is present or a crime is being committed, contact emergency services such as the police, fire department, or medical services. Provide them with accurate details about the incident and the location.

Create a Distraction: In non-threatening situations, creating a distraction can divert attention and diffuse tension. This strategy can be effective in preventing a potentially harmful situation from escalating.

Direct Intervention: If it is safe to do so, directly intervene by addressing the situation calmly and assertively. Speak up against inappropriate behavior, offer assistance to someone in distress, or help diffuse a conflict by promoting dialogue and understanding.

Seek Support: If you are unsure about intervening alone, try to involve others nearby. Approach individuals who may be witnessing the same incident and encourage them to join forces with you in addressing the situation. Remember, collective action can be powerful.

Document and Report: If you cannot intervene directly or the situation has already resolved, document what you witnessed. Take note of details such as descriptions of individuals involved, time, and location. Report the incident to relevant authorities or organizations that can take appropriate action.

Becoming an active bystander requires courage, empathy, and a commitment to making a positive impact in our communities. By choosing to step forward and take action, we contribute to the creation of safer, more inclusive environments for everyone. This Bystander Awareness Month, let’s all pledge to be active bystanders and work together to build a society where compassion, respect, and intervention are valued. Remember, your voice and actions matter.

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Community Share Op-eds

Relaxation Day…Yes you can!

August 15th is National Relaxation Day! What is the first thing that came to your mind when you read that sentence?

  • That is great but there is no way I can relax today, I have too much to do.
  • Relax- who has time for that?
  • Relax- I do not know how.
  • Relaxation is for lazy people.

According to the Oxford Dictionary the definition of relaxation is the state of being free from tension and anxiety. With so much going on in our world, our State and even in our jobs how can we ever be free from tension and anxiety? A lot of us work with people in constant crisis, which just adds to the constant crisis in our own everyday lives. It is often hard to compartmentalize our lives. Our work life bleeds over into our home life and what is going on at home is always in the back of our minds when we are at work. The word boundary gets tossed around a lot but very few of us set them. But you know what- it is okay to set them. There is a reason so many quotes are floating around about taking care of yourself- you cannot pour from an empty cup or put your oxygen mask on first, or you must pour something out before you can refill.

So, let us talk about how we can relax today and how we can incorporate it on a more regular basis. There are the usual activities:

  • Get a massage
  • Get a manicure and or pedicure
  • Talk a walk
  • Watch cute animal videos
  • Read a book
  • Play with a pet
  • Play with a kid
  • Go to a movie

And then there are the things we do not think about:

  • Start a journal
  • Schedule “me” time on your calendar
  • Turn off your phone and step away from your computer for a period of time (and stick to it!)
  • Call a friend or family member you have not talked to in a while
  • Share a meal with a friend or family member
  • Eat by yourself at a restaurant
  • Dance
  • Listen to music and sing along at the top of your lungs
  • List things you are grateful for
  • Smile at strangers
  • Compliment someone
  • Do a random act of kindness
  • Hand write a letter to someone

As Lauren Carter said: “Self-care allows us humans to maintain balance and continue functioning like a well-oiled machine that increases our ability to help care for others. Just as you would not expect your car to run continuously for 5,000 miles without stopping for gas or having its oil changed, you too cannot expect that of yourself! Running on empty eventually leads to a machine that no longer functions”.

Give yourself permission to relax not just today but every day. I challenge you to incorporate relaxation into your daily routine. We all have time to care for ourselves, we just need to realize our needs are just as important as our clients’. We help them get to where they need to be aren’t we significant enough to do the same for ourselves?

About the Author

Pic of Deputy Director Amy Smith
Amy Smith,
Sr. Director of Operations and Communications-HCDVCC
Categories
Community DVAM Op-eds

The Importance of Community and the Power of Friendships

Friendship and Community

In the spirit of National Friendship Day on August 6th, we are reminded of the significance of community and the invaluable friendships that strengthen the bonds within it. As a nonprofit organization deeply rooted in our community, we cherish the relationships we have cultivated with our community partners. These partnerships not only enhance our ability to make a positive impact but also serve as a testament to the remarkable parallels between communities and friends. Let us explore the profound connection between community and friendship and why they both play vital roles in our lives. Communities and friendships are built on a foundation of trust, support, and shared values. Just as friendships thrive on mutual respect and understanding, communities thrive when individuals come together with a common purpose, supporting, and uplifting one another. Both friendships and communities provide a sense of belonging, creating spaces where individuals can be themselves and find solace in the support of others.

Communities, much like friendships, possess an incredible power to bring about positive change. When people unite for a common cause, the collective impact becomes greater than the sum of individual efforts. In a community, diverse perspectives, skills, and experiences converge to tackle challenges, create opportunities, and foster growth. By harnessing the power of community, we can achieve remarkable feats and make a lasting difference.

Friends are often there for us during life’s highs and lows, providing a shoulder to lean on and celebrating our successes. Similarly, communities serve as support systems that lend a helping hand in times of need and offer collective celebrations during moments of triumph. Whether it is providing aid during crises, organizing events that promote unity, or offering resources to those less fortunate, communities act as a network of caring individuals, extending the warmth and compassion of friendship to those within their reach.

True friends motivate us to become the best versions of ourselves, supporting our dreams and pushing us to exceed the limits we place on ourselves. Communities operate in a similar way, offering opportunities for personal and collective growth. Through community engagement, we learn from one another, share knowledge and expertise, and empower each other to develop skills that contribute to the betterment of the whole. In this way, communities foster an environment of continuous learning and inspiration, much like the most nurturing friendships.

During challenging times, the presence of friends can provide immense comfort and resilience. In the same manner, communities act as a source of strength and support when faced with adversity. Whether it is rallying together to overcome a crisis or lending a listening ear during personal struggles, communities and friendships alike promote mental, emotional, and social well-being. Knowing that we have a network of friends within our community provides a sense of security and stability that contributes to our overall happiness and resilience.

As we celebrate National Friendship Day, let us acknowledge the profound connection between community and friendship. Both serve as cornerstones in our lives, enriching our experiences, and propelling us towards positive change. Let us continue to foster strong bonds within our community, embracing the shared values, support, and growth that come with it. Together, as friends within our communities, we can build a brighter future and create a world where friendship and community intertwine to uplift us all.

About the Author

Rebecca Councill, Social media, Manager of Operations and Communications

Manager of Communications and Operations of HCDVCC,

Rebecca Councill

Categories
Crime Victims Op-eds

A Quick Overview of Protective Orders

As a court advocate in the 280th Protective Order Court, my job is to provide support, information, and resources to applicants (those seeking the protective order). At times, the applicants are represented by the District Attorney’s office, hired attorneys, or through an agency (such as AVDA, Lone Star Legal Aid, or other non-profits), or they represent themselves (Pro Se). Pro Se applicants often express their nerves and worries about representing themselves and not knowing how to fully do so. They express a lack of knowledge of the law or what happens in court in general.

Hearing this prompted me (along with the MSW interns working with me) to create a guide for Pro Se applicants, and a list of answers to frequently asked questions. These guides were created to give Pro Se applicants information about court proceedings, and what’s expected of them during the process. With approval from the courts, these guides are available to people when they come in to apply for a protective order. I genuinely believe that knowledge is power, especially when that knowledge is applied. My hope is that these guides will help those representing themselves to feel more prepared for their hearing.

I am not an attorney, and these guides are not legal advice for self-representation, rather information that is helpful to know when representing oneself.

Lastly, we have created a survey (link below) to get a better sense of what advocates know about Protective Orders and what they’d like to learn. This will help guide our Legal Services Committee to plan future trainings.

 

About the Author

Protective Order Court Advocate

Deborah Alexis, LCSW

Categories
Mental Health Awareness Month Op-eds

Minority Mental Health Awareness

During the month of July, let us join the nation in celebrating National Minority Mental Health Awareness Month. This observance is a powerful reminder of the importance of recognizing and addressing the unique mental health challenges faced by minority communities. In our diverse society, it is crucial that we shed light on the experiences and struggles of individuals from minority backgrounds when it comes to mental health so that we foster a deeper understanding and cultivate an environment of empathy, support, and inclusivity. Raising awareness about minority mental health helps break down the stigma surrounding mental health issues, and by embracing the stories and experiences of individuals from minority communities, we challenge outdated stereotypes and help to open a space for honest conversations. We know that mental health issues can affect anyone, regardless of their background. However, individuals from minority communities often face additional barriers when seeking help, such as cultural stigma, language barriers, or limited access to culturally competent mental health services. So let us celebrate the resilience and strength of individuals from minority communities who have triumphed over their mental health challenges. During this month, we encourage you to educate yourself about the unique mental health concerns faced by different minority groups.

Thank you for joining us in this important journey of raising awareness for minority mental health!

About the Author

BATP Manager of Advocacy and Counseling Services

Morgan Holman