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Community Share Mental Health Awareness Month Op-eds Sexual Assault

Effects that Domestic Violence has on Survivors’ Mental Health

As a Lead Trauma Support Partner (TSP) and License Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), I wanted to touch on the effects that domestic violence has on survivors’ mental health, since its Mental Health Awareness Month. We know from research that domestic violence (whether you’ve endured it personally or witnessed it as a child) increases one’s risk of experiencing depression, anxiety, substance use, suicidal behaviors and PTSD. But what do these “labels” actually look like in the day to day? People think depression is “feeling down or hopeless” and while that’s true for a lot of people, depression can also look like irritability, increased or decreased appetite, need for sleep, and /or interest in sex. It can also look like someone no longer doing the things that they used to enjoy like connecting with friends or family, participating in a hobby or pleasurable activities. Similarly, people think anxiety is “intense worrying’ but anxiety can also look like increased irritability, difficulty concentrating or restlessness (feeling like you always have to be doing something) or feeling like something bad is going to happen. Maybe you’re short tempered with your kids or peers. Maybe you’re on edge all the time. These are all symptoms of anxiety. Lastly, people think PTSD is “flashbacks and hypervigilance” and again that is true, but PTSD can also look like difficulty concentrating, memory problems or forgetfulness, impaired functioning at home, school or work, feeling numb, wanting to be alone, engaging in risky behaviors and difficulty falling asleep. Its important to recognize these “other” symptoms so that you can get help (if you’re the trauma survivor) or you can adjust your interventions (if you’re the advocate). If you’re the trauma survivor and you’re experiencing any of these symptoms, talk to someone – a trusted medical or mental health professional, a clergy member, a family elder, a friend or call 988 – the national crisis line if you’re in a mental health crisis. If you’re an advocate, ask the right questions, connect your client to services, be patient and understanding and most importantly, educate your clients about these other less common symptoms because it just might be what they needed to hear to seek out support. With so many service options (in-person, via tele-health and even text messaging), it’s never been more accessible to get the help you need. Join me this month as we work towards bringing awareness to mental health.

About the Author

Profile Picture for Desiré Martinez, LCSW-S Lead Trauma Support Partner

Desiré Martinez, LCSW-S is a Lead Trauma Support Partner for HCDVCC.

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Community Share Op-eds Sexual Assault

Healthy Relationships

1 in 3 teens will experience some form of physical, sexual, verbal, or emotional abuse by a dating partner and approximately 8.5 million women experienced sexual assault before the age of 18. Teen dating violence, a form of intimate partner violence, is the most prevalent form of youth violence – affecting youth regardless of gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, or socioeconomic status.

Just a couple months ago I was invited out to Austin, Texas to conduct a training for a group of young college-aged women. I began my presentation with the same eye-opening activity I always use  – “Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Now, raise your hand if you either have experienced or know someone who has experienced some form of intimate partner violence. Now open your eyes and look around.” There was not a single hand in the room that was not raised…

After concluding my presentation with the young women, a few came up to me to express how they wished they had the opportunity to learn about healthy relationships before they had started dating. So, here is where you come in – preventing teen dating violence requires a broad coalition of parents, schools, and community organizations to join forces to start having conversations about healthy relationships at an early age.

Here are a few steps you can take to help prevent teen dating violence:

  • Become a trusted source for information about relationships – talk about relationships, including difficult topics like red flags, sex, and dating violence.
  • Teach your children about healthy relationships – how to form them and how to recognize them. Healthy relationships are built on trust, honesty, respect, equality, and compromise. Children need to hear about what constitutes a healthy relationship and how safe relationships are established.
  • Encourage children to be assertive – to speak up for themselves and voice their opinions or needs. Teach and model ways to say “NO!”
  • Help children recognize warning signs of an unhealthy relationship – include jealousy, controlling behavior, and other red flags.
  • Encourage children to be active bystanders – to take action/give support when a friend is in an unhealthy relationship.

 

Effective prevention and action has been seen to significantly decrease cases of intimate partner violence in teens. If you are interested in learning more about healthy relationships or wanting to set up a healthy relationships training, please email tishya@dayahouston.org

Let’s do our part to decrease the number of hands that go up when asked “raise your hand if you either have experienced or know someone who has experienced some form of intimate partner violence.”

About the Author

TishyaBedi

Tishya Bedi is the Director of Outreach and Education at Daya Houston.

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Community Share

Healthy Relationships

As we wrap-up Teen Dating Violence Month, how can we really have conversations about Domestic Violence without talking about Healthy Relationships? A consistent finding from the Harris County Adult Violent Death Review Team is that so many people do not realize they are in an abusive relationship because they have never observed a healthy one. As a result of this, we should all change the way we present DV 101 trainings, we should start with the dynamics of healthy relationships. I think the best description of a healthy relationship comes from the National Domestic Violence Hotline (The Hotline). I try to incorporate their information into all my trainings. A healthy relationship should allow both people to feel supported and loved but still maintain their independence. According to the Hotline, the two components of a healthy relationship are communication and boundaries. Communication means both partners can express their thoughts and opinions without fear. They treat each other with respect in discussions, they feel heard without being criticized, and they listen to each other. They also celebrate each other’s successes and accomplishments while supporting each other through disappointments and losses. Boundaries are important to establish at the beginning of every relationship. Each person should express to their partner what they are comfortable with or not comfortable with when it comes to sex, finances, family, friends, and personal space. In a healthy relationship, it is important for each partner to be able to spend time with family and friends without having to constantly check-in with the other. They do not abuse technology to track the other person or put pressure on their partner to do things they do not want to do. They also do not constantly accuse each other of being unfaithful they trust the other. While even healthy relationships can have conflict, it is should be resolved in supportive ways. Find the real issue, on occasion arguments erupt over things that have been brewing for a while. Try to get to the heart of the matter, if possible, compromise to find a middle ground that you both can agree on. Sometimes it is okay to agree to disagree. If the relationship has constant conflict that cannot be resolved in a healthy way, maybe it is not the right relationship for either of you. Sometimes the best thing you can do is to walk away before it escalates into an abusive situation. Both of you deserve a healthy relationship without continuous conflict.

About the Author

Pic of Deputy Director Amy Smith
Sr. Director of Operations and Communications of HCDVCC, Amy Smith