Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month: What to Look For & How to Help
Teen relationships should be fun, safe, and built on mutual respect. But for too many teens, dating turns into something dangerous—something that hurts instead of uplifts. February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, a time to shine a light on an issue that affects 1 in 3 teens in the U.S. If you’re in an unhealthy relationship, know someone who is, or just want to be prepared to support a friend, keep reading.
Spotting the Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship
Teen dating violence isn’t just physical. It can be emotional, psychological, digital, sexual, or financial abuse. The person being abused may not even realize what’s happening at first. Here’s what to look for:
- Extreme jealousy or possessiveness – A partner who constantly checks your phone, gets mad if you talk to others, or accuses you of cheating without reason.
- Controlling behavior – They tell you who you can and can’t hang out with, what to wear, or how to act.
- Love bombing, then withdrawal – At first, they’re over-the-top sweet, texting nonstop, giving gifts, making big promises. Then they pull away, punish you with silence, or make you feel like you’re “too much.”
- Embarrassing or humiliating you – Making fun of you in front of others, calling you names, or spreading rumors.
- Threats or intimidation – Saying they’ll hurt themselves if you leave, threatening to ruin your reputation, or using fear to control you.
- Physical harm – Pushing, hitting, throwing things, or any kind of physical violence—even just once.
- Digital abuse – Hacking into your accounts, demanding passwords, sending unwanted explicit photos, or tracking your location.
Red Flags That Shouldn’t Be Ignored
They rush the relationship and say things like, “I’ve never felt this way before” within days or weeks. You feel like you have to walk on eggshells around them. They pressure you into things you’re uncomfortable with—whether it’s sex, drugs, or skipping school. They make you doubt yourself—gaslighting you into thinking you’re overreacting or imagining things. They isolate you from your family and friends, making you dependent on them. You feel afraid to leave because you don’t know what they’ll do.
How to Help a Friend in an Abusive Relationship
If you notice a friend pulling away, acting different, or making excuses for their partner’s toxic behavior, they may be in an abusive relationship. It’s not always easy to get through to them, but here’s what you can do:
- Believe them. If they open up, listen without judgment. Don’t minimize their experience by saying, “It’s probably not that bad.”
- Avoid blaming them. They may not leave right away, and that’s okay. Instead of, “Why don’t you just break up?” try, “I’m here whenever you need me.”
- Help them see the signs. Gently point out concerning behaviors. “I’ve noticed your partner always checks your phone. Does that make you uncomfortable?”
- Stay connected. Abusers isolate their victims. Keep inviting your friend to hang out and check in often.
- Offer a way out. Help them make a safety plan (more on that below) or offer to go with them to talk to a trusted adult.
Getting Out of an Abusive Relationship
Leaving isn’t easy, especially when emotions are involved. But safety comes first. Here’s how to make an exit plan:
Talk to someone you trust – A parent, school counselor, teacher, coach, or friend. You don’t have to do this alone. Plan your breakup in a safe place – If you’re afraid of their reaction, break up in a public place or over text. Do not meet alone. Block them on social media and your phone – This prevents them from harassing or manipulating you after the breakup. Gather evidence – If they’ve been threatening or abusive over text, save screenshots. You may need them later. Know your escape route – If they show up at your school or house, have a plan on where you’ll go and who you’ll call. Get professional help – Love Is Respect (866-331-9474) and The National Domestic Violence Hotline (800-799-7233) have 24/7 support.
You’re Not Alone – Support Is Out There
No one deserves to feel unsafe in a relationship. If you or someone you know is experiencing dating violence, help is available:
Love Is Respect – Call 866-331-9474 or text “LOVEIS” to 22522 for confidential support. National Domestic Violence Hotline – 800-799-7233 or chat at thehotline.org. Talk to a trusted adult – A teacher, coach, school counselor, or family member can help you navigate your next steps.
Dating should feel exciting, safe, and uplifting—never scary or suffocating. If something doesn’t feel right, trust yourself. Help is always available, and you deserve better.
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