Live Stream Town Hall for Teen Dating Violence Awareness
Join ABC13’s Daniela Hurtado and community changemakers for an Action 13 town hall, highlighting rising concerns about teen dating violence.
Tag: sexualviolence
Expect Respect is a program offered through SAFE in Austin, Tx.. The purpose of the program is to promote healthy relationships among teens. Recently, SAFE partnered with HCDVCC to offer this program to youth in grades 6-12. As we are leading up to February, which is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, facilitator Stefanie Hayes is teaching the youth how to be aware and recognize Red Flags that can lead to dating violence. Stefanie also serves as a support to the educators, parents, and communities that serve our youth by providing prevention and the basics on teens and dating violence.
Here are a few things to know and share when working with tweens and teens to help spot teen dating violence and promote healthy relationships.
The first thing you will need know- what is a Red Flag?
A Red Flag is a sign or behavior that you see in someone that could turn problematic later; especially as it pertains to forming a relationship.
The most common red flags are lack of communication, control, aggressive behavior, can’t take No for an answer, and disrespect. These are just a few but recognizing these flags will allow you to help teens avoid toxic relationships.
The most important thing you can help young people do is to not ignore what they are seeing or feeling. If they encounter someone who is exhibiting this type of behavior, it is important for them to be aware and know how to handle the behavior. It may be necessary to pause and reflect, evaluate, and decide if they should walk … or better yet run away!
Overall, the key to spotting teen violence it to cultivate self -awareness. If we can help young people love themselves and know their worth, then they will be quick to identify what is healthy versus what is not. Doing this helps young people to avoid red flags and toxicity all together.
About the Author
Stefanie Hayes
Expect Respect Facilitator
HCDVCC
Categories
Statement to KPRC 2
Statement to KPRC 2
By: Barbie Brashear and Amy Smith
The blatant disregard for the safety of the victim in the Aubrey Taylor case is just another concern in the long line of issues relating to how Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) is addressed in Harris County. Harris County consistently leads our State in IPV homicides. The Harris County Domestic Violence Coordinating Council and our Community Partners have numerous programs in place to assist victims of IPV but without the support of the entire Community and especially all involved within the Criminal Justice System, we will keep leading the State in IPV homicides.
There are many barriers to leaving an abusive situation, one including increased violence and risk for homicide when making the decision to leave. How will the victim be safe from their abuser? For a victim, knowing her offender is in custody gives her the ability to develop and employ a safety plan for when and if the perpetrator is released. This respite has increasingly become even shorter with the bond conditions that are being assigned case after case.
One can only imagine the depth of terror felt by the victim while being held by the offender over several days. The abuse the victim suffered at his hands is unfathomable. While we know an offender is innocent until proven guilty, his previous convictions lead us to believe that he perhaps is not going to follow the law, that committing further violence in the future is more than possible, and our system will not hold him accountable. The intimate partner violence field has tools and knowledge that can be used by criminal justice systems to assess for risk for intimate partner violence and the likelihood of homicide to occur. These tools can be used by law enforcement as well as the judicial response to assist in decision making including the assignment of appropriate bonds – WHY ARE WE NOT USING THEM? Harris County is the 3rd largest county in the United State and we lag far behind in dedicating resources to ensuring that our systems and first responders are using the most up to date tools and technology. Additionally, we lag behind in ensuring that all of our systems are looking at the same information related to cases. What is happening that Judges aren’t looking at the totality of the case or of the history – why is our county not using evidence-based risk assessment tools to make consistent and informed decisions? Assigning bonds should require the use of the most reliable and validated tools that can ensure that these decisions are informed by information rather than personal speculation. In the case at hand, the assigning of a low bond – $1 – sends the message to the alleged offender that acts of violence against a loved one are really no big deal and the system will not be holding you accountable for the violence. The message the victim receives is that her life and the lives of all those suffering from IPV are not important and again, the system will not create a way to hold the person using violence accountable, nor afford her the time to increase her safety.
IPV has deadly consequences that can be seen every day. It is a crime that requires serious and thoughtful actions throughout the responding systems to ensure that victims are believed, supported, and protected. Harris County needs to step up and support victims and not treat the abuse they suffer as a family problem. It is a community problem requiring a coordinated community response.
Categories
Out of Line
Often when folks think of bystander intervention, they envision intervening in the moment when something harmful is about to happen. Out of Line, a small group of community members are approaching bystander intervention a bit differently and were honored to receive Texas Association Against Sexual Assault’s 2021 Community Engagement Award for their prevention of violence work in the City of South Houston. The name Out of Line signifies the importance of stepping out of line to disrupt society’s harmful social norms. Our group believes it is important to stand up for radical change to transform our communities into safe and accepting places. We meet at least once a week via zoom or at a local coffee shop. Sometimes we are in our pjs, sitting outside the gym or just clocking out of work to organize, plan, and imagine new ways to engage our community.
These new ways include listening and learning from community. What do our community members want and need? How can we incorporate play, laughter and prioritize authentic relationship building? After taking time to learn what our community members wanted, we held a Movie Night in the Park, a Loteria Night, a Meditation in the Park event, a virtual cooking and make up tutorial class, a family game night, two storytelling nights focusing on mental health and body image and a Tie Dye and Tacos Party. We are currently planning a series of networking nights for small business owners or individuals considering beginning their own business. You may be wondering what any of this has to do with bystander intervention or prevention of violence. We know that violence is reduced through fostering genuine connection, empathy, and equity within our community, and these are the qualities we infuse in our events. Out of Line believes in a future without violence and we charge you to also consider the ways in which you can work alongside your community to create safer, equitable spaces affirming of people of all identities.
Originally referred to as Close to Home, the group decided to change their name to something that best defined their personalities and their community work. The name signifies the importance of stepping out of line to disrupt society’s harmful social norms. The group believes it is important to step out and stand up for radical change to transform our communities into a safe and accepting place, even if people think they are out of line for doing so.
Out of line meets every week at 8 PM. Their meetings are filled with laughter, ideas, and dreams, allowing members to be their authentic selves. Sometimes they’re in bed in their pajamas, or just clocking out from work, or waiting in their car outside the gym… regardless of where they are, every member has always been committed to finding new ways to engage their community.
Out of Line is dedicated to creating a sense of connectedness and cultivating community gatherings in the name of supporting survivors, healing communities through positive relationships, mental health support initiatives, open spaces for vulnerable and powerful conversations, and planning for the next steps to continue engagement. Some of the group’s events include a community movie night, Loteria game night, tie-dye party, Meditation and self-care discussion, Virtual cooking class, dance class for survivors, and more.
These new ways include listening and learning from community. What do our community members want and need? How can we incorporate play, laughter and prioritize authentic relationship building? After taking time to learn what our community members wanted, we held a Movie Night in the Park, a Loteria Night, a Meditation in the Park event, a virtual cooking and make up tutorial class, a family game night, two storytelling nights focusing on mental health and body image and a Tie Dye and Tacos Party. We are currently planning a series of networking nights for small business owners or individuals considering beginning their own business. You may be wondering what any of this has to do with bystander intervention or prevention of violence. We know that violence is reduced through fostering genuine connection, empathy, and equity within our community, and these are the qualities we infuse in our events. Out of Line believes in a future without violence and we charge you to also consider the ways in which you can work alongside your community to create safer, equitable spaces affirming of people of all identities.
Originally referred to as Close to Home, the group decided to change their name to something that best defined their personalities and their community work. The name signifies the importance of stepping out of line to disrupt society’s harmful social norms. The group believes it is important to step out and stand up for radical change to transform our communities into a safe and accepting place, even if people think they are out of line for doing so.
Out of line meets every week at 8 PM. Their meetings are filled with laughter, ideas, and dreams, allowing members to be their authentic selves. Sometimes they’re in bed in their pajamas, or just clocking out from work, or waiting in their car outside the gym… regardless of where they are, every member has always been committed to finding new ways to engage their community.
Out of Line is dedicated to creating a sense of connectedness and cultivating community gatherings in the name of supporting survivors, healing communities through positive relationships, mental health support initiatives, open spaces for vulnerable and powerful conversations, and planning for the next steps to continue engagement. Some of the group’s events include a community movie night, Loteria game night, tie-dye party, Meditation and self-care discussion, Virtual cooking class, dance class for survivors, and more.
About the Author
Jessica Bellant, MSW is the Education and Prevention Director at The Bridge Over Troubled Waters, Inc.
Jessica provides interactive workshops at the local, regional and state level concerning domestic violence, sexual assault, and prevention of these forms of violence. Jessica previously provided guidance concerning Texas’s prevention of sexual violence programming by serving on the state’s Primary Prevention Planning Committee. Her previous experience includes providing crisis counseling and legal advocacy to survivors of gender-based violence and serving as an adjunct professor. Jessica believes in the power of violence prevention and is dedicating her career to fostering safer communities in SoutheastHarris County.
Once we understand the importance of being an active bystander, the next step is to learn about specific techniques to utilize when intervening. At Rice, we use a method called the “4 D’s”. This method includes the intervention options of: direct, delegate, distract, and delay. Let’s do a quick review of these options.
Using a direct approach is probably what most people think is required in order to be an active bystander. This is a useful technique where we confront the person exhibiting harmful behaviors or the person who we are concerned about. This could include telling a person to stop using slurs and yelling at another person or telling your friend that they have had a lot to drink and that you are taking them home, instead of the guy they just met.
Because not everyone is comfortable with being direct, and it is not always safe, an active bystander can also utilize delegating. This option includes utilizing other people in the community, so you don’t feel alone and can assess the situation together. The people we involve could be a peer, someone who knows the potential perpetrator or victim, or someone with authority or power to intervene.
Distracting is the third option that we teach about. Ultimately, we may not feel it necessary to make every event a “teachable moment”, and we just want to stop the potential violence. So we could talk to one or both of the people involved in the tense situation, maybe about a movie we just saw, we could spill a drink, or pretend like we know one of the people and engage in a chat with them that disconnects them from the other person.
Delay is the last technique and we often do not understand how impactful this option can be. This can be used when we are not able to intervene in the moment, and are concerned about the people involved. We could text or call them and ask them if they are okay. Giving space for someone to talk about experiencing harm even after the incident still counts as intervening and allows you to check on their safety, provide them with emotional support, and possibly provide resources that could help.
It is so important to remember that in any concerning situation that would benefit from an active bystander, that there are many ways to intervene. Speaking up and stopping the violence is the goal, and there are often various routes to get there, and you will make a difference.
About the Author
Cathryn Councill is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and works at Rice University. She is the Director of The SAFE Office, where they focus on education and student support around issues related to interpersonal violence. She also facilitates the LGBTQ+ Ally Training on campus and acts as the staff advisor for the undergraduate peer support/education program as well. She has extensive experience working in the field of domestic and sexual violence, including as case manager, therapist, educator, and group facilitator. She has also provided support to persons living with HIV, those experiencing drug and alcohol addiction, and to the LGBTQ+ community.
Cathryn’s favorite things include being in or near water, all animals and pets, unconditional empathy, rainbows, chai lattes, and her lovely wife.
When I began working at Rice University 5 years ago, I learned about how important bystander intervention is within college campus communities. Preventing violence is a community issue and ultimately everyone’s responsibility. Bystander Intervention is based on the philosophy that everyone can learn to safely intervene in potentially harmful situations and speak out against violence, as well as challenge social and cultural norms that perpetuate violence.
At Rice, when we teach about this topic, we make sure that participants understand that intervening is not just about stopping a physical or sexual assault while it is occurring. The likelihood of any of us happening upon one of these incidents is much less likely than other types of incidents. We must understand that behaviors we also need to pay attention to and intervene in include language and jokes that are used to harm (possibly unintentionally) and these often precede physical violence and desensitize us.
Another important component of bystander intervention training is to include information on privilege. Upon doing research, we initially learned that everyone in the community can be an active bystander for any situation. However, such an approach can overlook the impact of the complexity of a person’s’ intersecting identities, including their race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender identity, nation, age, and social class. It is difficult and often a safety risk for marginalized communities to intervene in potentially violent situations, especially if the potential active bystander is part of the same group as the person/people being targeted.
We challenge active bystanders to consider their privilege in all situations, and if needed, use that privilege to intervene. Here are some examples that we ask participants to consider. Can you reject someone and not worry about being threatened with degrading language or physical violence? Often, female/feminine identified people cannot. Can you be affectionate with a partner in public without fear? Often, the LGBTQ+ community cannot. Do you ever worry about being treated as if you are out to harm someone just based on the color of your skin? Often, persons of color do. If you do not experience one of these fears, that means that you have privilege in that situation, and it may be your turn to speak up and take action.
Whether you work on a college campus or in another community setting, we all have a responsibility to learn about and share about the importance of being an active bystander. We must start from within and increase our awareness about our privileges, and then educate our family, social circles, and systems, including oppressive structures.
At Rice, when we teach about this topic, we make sure that participants understand that intervening is not just about stopping a physical or sexual assault while it is occurring. The likelihood of any of us happening upon one of these incidents is much less likely than other types of incidents. We must understand that behaviors we also need to pay attention to and intervene in include language and jokes that are used to harm (possibly unintentionally) and these often precede physical violence and desensitize us.
Another important component of bystander intervention training is to include information on privilege. Upon doing research, we initially learned that everyone in the community can be an active bystander for any situation. However, such an approach can overlook the impact of the complexity of a person’s’ intersecting identities, including their race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender identity, nation, age, and social class. It is difficult and often a safety risk for marginalized communities to intervene in potentially violent situations, especially if the potential active bystander is part of the same group as the person/people being targeted.
We challenge active bystanders to consider their privilege in all situations, and if needed, use that privilege to intervene. Here are some examples that we ask participants to consider. Can you reject someone and not worry about being threatened with degrading language or physical violence? Often, female/feminine identified people cannot. Can you be affectionate with a partner in public without fear? Often, the LGBTQ+ community cannot. Do you ever worry about being treated as if you are out to harm someone just based on the color of your skin? Often, persons of color do. If you do not experience one of these fears, that means that you have privilege in that situation, and it may be your turn to speak up and take action.
Whether you work on a college campus or in another community setting, we all have a responsibility to learn about and share about the importance of being an active bystander. We must start from within and increase our awareness about our privileges, and then educate our family, social circles, and systems, including oppressive structures.
About the Author
Cathryn Councill is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and works at Rice University. She is the Director of The SAFE Office, where they focus on education and student support around issues related to interpersonal violence. She also facilitates the LGBTQ+ Ally Training on campus and acts as the staff advisor for the undergraduate peer support/education program as well. She has extensive experience working in the field of domestic and sexual violence, including as case manager, therapist, educator, and group facilitator. She has also provided support to persons living with HIV, those experiencing drug and alcohol addiction, and to the LGBTQ+ community.
Cathryn’s favorite things include being in or near water, all animals and pets, unconditional empathy, rainbows, chai lattes, and her lovely wife.
As we reflect on Independence Day this year, we at Daya reflect on our mission’s core – the belief that every person deserves an independent life free from abuse. We have embodied this belief for 26 years since being founded and are committed to play our part in helping survivors gain freedom.
South Asian survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault face a myriad of barriers when it comes to getting help, oftentimes making staying silent the less risky option. For 26 years, Daya staff, board members, and volunteers have worked to break the silence around domestic abuse in the South Asian community by tirelessly advocating alongside survivors and community leaders. By uplifting the voices of South Asian survivors, Daya has been able to assist more than 400 survivors reclaim independence annually. While we are proud of our work over the last 26 years, we recognize there is still much to be done. As the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic continue, survivors face higher risks and increased vulnerabilities. In just 6 months, Daya has worked alongside 280 survivors who are bravely reclaiming their freedom by ending the cycle of abuse in their relationships.
This work is not done in a silo. Daya is stronger because of the partnerships with our sister organizations who we learn and grow with. Ending the domestic violence will take all of us working in coordination and in solidarity.
We invite you to acknowledge the freedom that results from healthy relationships and independent lives. At Daya, our commitment to independence looks like providing options instead of mandates, spreading knowledge instead of blame, and letting the client lead while always having their back.
South Asian survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault face a myriad of barriers when it comes to getting help, oftentimes making staying silent the less risky option. For 26 years, Daya staff, board members, and volunteers have worked to break the silence around domestic abuse in the South Asian community by tirelessly advocating alongside survivors and community leaders. By uplifting the voices of South Asian survivors, Daya has been able to assist more than 400 survivors reclaim independence annually. While we are proud of our work over the last 26 years, we recognize there is still much to be done. As the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic continue, survivors face higher risks and increased vulnerabilities. In just 6 months, Daya has worked alongside 280 survivors who are bravely reclaiming their freedom by ending the cycle of abuse in their relationships.
This work is not done in a silo. Daya is stronger because of the partnerships with our sister organizations who we learn and grow with. Ending the domestic violence will take all of us working in coordination and in solidarity.
We invite you to acknowledge the freedom that results from healthy relationships and independent lives. At Daya, our commitment to independence looks like providing options instead of mandates, spreading knowledge instead of blame, and letting the client lead while always having their back.
About the Authors
Rachna Khare, Executive Director
Tishya Bedi, Director of Outreach and Education
Categories
Freedom is not for all
Women lost more than the right to choose when the U.S. Supreme Court reversed the landmark decision of Roe v. Wade. Women lost the freedom that comes with self-reliance, self-determination, and bodily autonomy. We are reminded, yet again, that we are second class citizens – subordinate and subject to ideals and laws that meet the needs of the few instead of the needs of the many. BIPOC women already stand in the gap when it comes to wealth, education, housing, poverty, maternal and infant mortality, and countless other inequities with high barriers. The Dobbs decision makes it almost impossible to move beyond the gap when options are restricted and women must live the life they are forced into, instead of the life they want. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness do not apply.
BIPOC women will be even more vulnerable to domestic violence, sexual assault, dating violence, and stalking. Research states that between 3% and 9% of women experience abuse during pregnancy and risk factors that assure higher rates of abuse, include young age, single, race/ethnicity, and poverty. Adults and children who are impregnated by rape or incest will be tied to those who violated them…for life. Lives will be lost and childhoods will be stolen. The psychological, physical, and financial toll of carrying an unwanted pregnancy to term in an environment that is already hostile to BIPOC women is incalculable. Denying the freedom to choose will have collateral consequences of compound, complex, trauma for generations of BIPOC communities.
BIPOC women will be even more vulnerable to domestic violence, sexual assault, dating violence, and stalking. Research states that between 3% and 9% of women experience abuse during pregnancy and risk factors that assure higher rates of abuse, include young age, single, race/ethnicity, and poverty. Adults and children who are impregnated by rape or incest will be tied to those who violated them…for life. Lives will be lost and childhoods will be stolen. The psychological, physical, and financial toll of carrying an unwanted pregnancy to term in an environment that is already hostile to BIPOC women is incalculable. Denying the freedom to choose will have collateral consequences of compound, complex, trauma for generations of BIPOC communities.
About the Authors
Ujima Inc., The National Center on Violence Against Women in the Black Community
