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Tag: trauma informed

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Community IPV and LGBTQIA Pride Month

Domestic Violence in the LGBTQIA Community: A Hidden Crisis 

June is Pride Month, a time to celebrate the diversity and resilience of the LGBTQIA community. However, it is also an important moment to acknowledge and address the significant challenges faced by this community, including domestic violence. Understanding the unique dynamics and statistics surrounding intimate partner violence (IPV) in the LGBTQIA community is crucial for effective prevention and support. 

 Statistics and Trends 

Domestic violence in the LGBTQIA community is a pervasive issue that often goes underreported and underacknowledged. Nationally, research shows that 43.8% of lesbian women and 61.1% of bisexual women have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner at some point in their lives. For gay and bisexual men, the rates are 26% and 37.3%, respectively. These rates are significantly higher than those reported by heterosexual individuals, indicating a troubling disparity. 

 In Houston and Harris County, Texas, the situation reflects broader national trends. Domestic violence homicides have increased sharply in recent years, with intimate partner violence homicides in the area doubling from 32 in 2019 to 64 in 2022. The increase in calls to shelters and domestic violence hotlines also highlights the growing need for resources and support for victims in the region. 

Why It Happens 

Several factors contribute to the high rates of domestic violence in the LGBTQIA community: 

 

  • Stigma and Discrimination: LGBTQIA individuals often face societal stigma and discrimination, which can isolate them and make it harder to seek help. 
  • Lack of Support Services: Many domestic violence services are not equipped to handle the unique needs of LGBTQIA individuals, leading to a lack of accessible and appropriate resources. 
  • Internalized Homophobia/Biphobia/Transphobia: Internalized negative beliefs about one’s own LGBTQIA identity can contribute to staying in an abusive relationship. 
  • Outing as a Threat: Abusers may threaten to “out” their partners to family, friends, or employers as a form of control. 

Who Is More Frequently Affected 

Certain groups within the LGBTQIA community are more vulnerable to domestic violence: 

 

  1. Transgender Individuals: Transgender people, particularly transgender women of color, experience disproportionately high rates of violence and homicide. 
  1. Bisexual Individuals: Bisexual individuals often face abuse from both same-sex and different-sex partners. 
  1. Youth: LGBTQIA youth are at higher risk of experiencing dating violence, often compounded by lack of family support. 

Tips for Victims of Intimate Partner Violence 

  • Reach Out for Help: Contact local LGBTQIA-friendly domestic violence organizations and hotlines. In Houston, the Montrose Center provides specialized services for LGBTQIA individuals facing domestic violence. 
  • Create a Safety Plan: Develop a plan that includes safe places to go, people you can call, and important items to take if you need to leave an abusive situation quickly. 
  • Document the Abuse: Keep a record of incidents, including dates, times, and descriptions of the abuse. This can be useful for legal action or obtaining protective orders. 
  • Seek Legal Protection: Obtain a protective order if necessary. Legal services are available to help navigate this process. 
  • Therapy and Support Groups: Engage in therapy or support groups that cater to LGBTQIA individuals to receive emotional support and validation. 

Addressing domestic violence in the LGBTQIA community requires a multifaceted approach that includes increasing awareness, improving access to resources, and fostering an environment where victims feel safe and supported to seek help. During Pride Month, and beyond, it is essential to continue advocating for the rights and safety of all individuals within the LGBTQIA community. 

For more information on resources and support in the Houston area, you can visit the Montrose Center’s website. 

Categories
Children Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month

Respect Week- Healthy Relationships

There are so many suggestions and innuendos on what a healthy relationship is and what it is not. A lot of the examples that we see come from social media or reality TV, and if we are honest some of us are just navigating without a parachute. Sheesh and that’s from the adult view.

However, what about our teens?
You know the population who is influenced by the above genre the most.
In working with teens, we see that self-esteem and self-worth, or the lack thereof is a deadly formula that puts a mark on their back for heartbreak, misunderstanding, and sometimes abuse.

When you don’t love yourself you become an easy prey for toxicity. Examples of this are the young girl or boy who never received nurturing, love, or affection. This will be the teen looking for love in all the wrong places. The kid who accepts any affection because face it, it’s better than nothing at all.

Or the young person with the example of parents who argue as a means of effective communication.  9 out of 10 this will be the teen who is the aggressor when they begin a relationship.

The last one… the child where nothing they do is ever good enough.
This is the youngster who will accept belittlement, disrespect, and yes they are even prone to experience violence because they are in a low state.

As we enter into Respect Week these are some of the matters facing the youth served. We must intervene. In order to help or be a solution we have to point the child back to their individual self.

In group settings, this may start with questions or statements such as,

Do you like you?

Do you love you?

Give me one positive word that describes you.

 

This opens for discussion and allows us to encourage and teach youth to have a great level of love and respect for self. For many, this may be new as they have been in an unhealthy relationship with themselves, which has affected their relationships with others. Ouch!

The only way for us to have beneficial prevention is to point youth back to a healthy regard for self. If we create this as the foundation, then we give them a pretty good start on recognizing who or what is healthy for them.

It goes back to the core. One of the most important relationships one will ever have is the one with self. So, treat yourself with love and respect.
Treat yourself well, you deserve it!

About the Author

Stefanie Hayes
Expect Respect Facilitator
HCDVCC

Categories
Stalking Awareness Month Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month

Bridging the Gap Between Stalking Awareness and Teen Dating Violence Prevention

As we bid farewell to January, which is Stalking Awareness Month, we turn our attention to February, designated as Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. While these two observances may seem distinct, they share a vital common thread – the urgent need to protect individuals, particularly young people, from abusive relationships and ensure their safety. In this article, we explore how Domestic Violence (DV) agencies, such as HCDVCC, work tirelessly to address both issues and the significance of these awareness months occurring consecutively. 

Stalking Awareness Month: 

Stalking Awareness Month in January serves as a critical reminder of the prevalence and severity of stalking, a pervasive form of harassment that affects millions of individuals each year. Stalking can take various forms, from online harassment to intrusive physical surveillance, causing profound distress and fear for victims. DV agencies play a crucial role during this month by raising awareness about stalking, providing resources for victims, and advocating for legal protections against stalking behaviors. 

Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month: 

February, Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, shines a spotlight on the alarming issue of dating violence among teenagers and young adults. Many young people find themselves in abusive relationships characterized by emotional, physical, or psychological abuse. DV agencies are at the forefront of efforts to educate teens about healthy relationships, recognize warning signs, and provide support for those facing dating violence. By dedicating a whole month to this cause, society acknowledges the importance of addressing these issues early on to break the cycle of abuse. 

The Intersection: 

The timing of these awareness months, back-to-back, is not merely a coincidence. It highlights the interconnectedness of stalking and teen dating violence. In many cases, stalking behaviors can escalate within dating relationships, becoming a precursor to more severe forms of abuse. DV agencies understand this dynamic and utilize Stalking Awareness Month as a platform to emphasize the warning signs of potential dating violence within the context of stalking. 

DV agencies often collaborate with schools, youth organizations, and community groups during February to reach teenagers and educate them about the dangers of abusive relationships. By raising awareness about both stalking and teen dating violence, these agencies aim to empower young individuals to recognize unhealthy behaviors and seek help when needed. 

Empowering Youth: 

Empowering young people to recognize, report, and prevent abusive behaviors is central to the mission of DV agencies. By addressing both stalking and teen dating violence, these agencies strive to create a safer environment for youth. Prevention and education programs, workshops, and awareness campaigns are just some of the tools they use to foster healthy relationships and ensure that young individuals have the knowledge and resources to protect themselves. 

The consecutive observance of Stalking Awareness Month and Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month serves as a powerful reminder of the collective commitment to ending abusive behaviors and protecting our youth. Domestic Violence agencies play an indispensable role in addressing these issues and bridging the gap between awareness and action. By working together and leveraging the significance of these awareness months, we can empower young people to build safe, respectful relationships and break the cycle of abuse.

Categories
Stalking Awareness Month

The Chilling Connection – Cyber Stalking and Intimate Partner Violence

The digital age has transformed the way we connect and communicate, offering unprecedented opportunities for social interaction, work, and entertainment. However, it has also given rise to new forms of abuse and harassment, with cyber stalking being one of the most troubling manifestations. This article delves into the world of cyber stalking, its devastating impact on victims, and its chilling connection to intimate partner violence (IPV).

Understanding Cyber Stalking

Cyber stalking can be defined as a pattern of persistent and unwanted online behavior, wherein an individual or group uses digital platforms to harass, threaten, or intimidate another person. The motivation behind cyber stalking can vary, but it is typically driven by an obsession, a desire for control, or a need for revenge. Victims of cyber stalking often experience severe emotional distress, anxiety, and fear for their safety.

Methods of Cyber Stalking

Cyber stalkers employ a variety of tactics to harass their victims, which can include:

  • Harassing Messages: This can involve sending threatening or explicit messages through email, social media, or text messages.
  • Impersonation: Perpetrators may create fake profiles or impersonate the victim online, spreading false information or engaging in inappropriate conduct in the victim’s name.
  • Monitoring and Surveillance: Cyber stalkers might use spyware or hacking techniques to gain access to the victim’s personal information, including their location, online activity, and private messages.
  • Online Shaming: Posting humiliating or derogatory content about the victim on public forums, social media, or websites is another common tactic.
  • Doxxing: Revealing the victim’s personal information, such as their home address or phone number, can put them at physical risk.

The Connection to Intimate Partner Violence

Cyber stalking is often closely intertwined with intimate partner violence (IPV), a pattern of abusive behaviors within an intimate relationship. The digital realm provides new avenues for abusers to exert control and power over their partners. Here’s how cyber stalking connects to IPV:

  • Control and Isolation: Cyber stalking can be used by an abusive partner to control and isolate their victim. By monitoring their online activity, the abuser can track the victim’s interactions, restrict their communication with friends and family, and exert a significant level of control over their daily life.
  • Threats and Intimidation: Abusers may use cyber stalking tactics to issue threats, both online and offline. The constant barrage of harassing messages and threats can create an environment of fear and submission within the relationship.
  • Digital Manipulation: Abusive partners may manipulate or coerce their victims through the use of explicit images, videos, or private information. This digital coercion can be used to maintain dominance and silence the victim.
  • Revenge Porn: In some cases, abusers resort to sharing explicit images or videos of their victims without consent, a cruel act known as revenge porn. This not only inflicts emotional harm but can also have severe legal consequences.

Addressing the Issue

The connection between cyber stalking and IPV underscores the importance of raising awareness and implementing preventive measures. Some key steps to address this issue include:

  • Education and Awareness: Promote awareness about cyber stalking, its connection to IPV, and its potential consequences. Educate individuals on how to recognize the signs and protect themselves.
  • Support for Victims: Create support networks and resources for victims, ensuring they have access to counseling, legal assistance, and online safety measures.
  • Legislation and Enforcement: Advocate for and enforce laws against cyber stalking and revenge porn, holding perpetrators accountable for their actions.
  • Online Safety Measures: Encourage individuals to use strong passwords, enable two-factor authentication, and be cautious about sharing personal information online. Report abusive behavior to online platforms and authorities.

Cyber stalking is a grave issue that not only invades personal privacy but also poses a significant threat to individuals in abusive relationships. Recognizing the connection between cyber stalking and intimate partner violence is crucial for addressing this modern-day challenge. By raising awareness, providing support to victims, and enforcing appropriate legislation, we can work towards a safer digital landscape for all.

Categories
Stalking Awareness Month

Stalking – Recognizing the Signs, Protecting Yourself, and Seeking Help

Stalking is a serious and invasive crime that affects millions of people worldwide. It involves a pattern of unwanted and often intimidating behaviors intended to make someone feel unsafe or harassed. Stalking can take many forms, from online harassment to physical intrusions into one’s personal space. In this article, we will explore the signs of stalking, offer tips on how to protect yourself, and provide guidance on what to do if you find yourself in such a distressing situation.

Understanding Stalking

Stalking is not limited to a specific age group, gender, or background. Anyone can become a victim of stalking, and it can have severe emotional and psychological consequences. To effectively combat stalking, it’s crucial to understand its different forms and recognize the signs.

Common Signs of Stalking

  • Unwanted Communication: Receiving persistent and unsolicited messages, phone calls, emails, or social media messages from someone despite your clear disinterest or requests to stop.
  • Surveillance: Feeling as though you are being watched, followed, or monitored, whether in person or online.
  • Unwanted Gifts or Surprises: Receiving unwanted gifts, flowers, or surprises, often accompanied by intimidating or obsessive messages.
  • Trespassing or Invasion of Privacy: Finding evidence of someone entering your home, workplace, or personal spaces without permission.
  • Cyberstalking: Experiencing online harassment, including the spreading of false information, posting intimate photos without consent, or hacking into your online accounts.
  • Manipulation and Control: The stalker may attempt to manipulate your life by spreading rumors, contacting your friends and family, or attempting to control your actions.
  • Persistent Following: Feeling as though you are being followed or encountering the same person repeatedly in different places.

Tips on Protecting Yourself

If you suspect you are being stalked or feel unsafe due to someone’s behavior, here are some steps you can take to protect yourself:

  • Trust Your Instincts: If something feels off or unsettling, take it seriously. Your intuition can be a valuable tool in recognizing potential dangers.
  • Document Everything: Keep a detailed record of any communication, incidents, or encounters related to the stalking. This documentation can be essential for legal purposes.
  • Secure Your Personal Information: Review your online presence and make your social media profiles private. Change passwords regularly and be cautious about sharing personal information online.
  • Inform Trusted Individuals: Share your concerns with close friends, family members, or co-workers. They can offer support and be extra vigilant on your behalf.
  • Vary Your Routine: Change your daily routines to avoid predictable patterns. This can make it more difficult for a stalker to track your movements.
  • Install Security Measures: Consider installing security cameras, changing locks, or improving the security of your home or workplace.

What to Do if You Are Being Stalked

If you believe you are being stalked, it’s essential to take immediate action to protect yourself:

  • Contact Law Enforcement: Report the stalking to your local police department. Share all the evidence and documentation you’ve gathered.
  • Obtain a Restraining Order: Consult with an attorney or legal advocate to seek a restraining order or protective order against the stalker.
  • Seek Support: Reach out to organizations and support groups that specialize in helping stalking victims. They can offer guidance, resources, and emotional support.
  • Maintain Vigilance: Continue to be cautious and proactive in protecting yourself, even after taking legal action.

Stalking is a deeply distressing and dangerous experience, but it’s crucial to remember that help is available. By recognizing the signs of stalking, taking precautions, and seeking assistance from law enforcement and support organizations, you can take steps to protect yourself and regain control of your life. Remember, you are not alone, and there are people and resources dedicated to helping victims of stalking find safety and justice.

Categories
Holidays Op-eds

A Vision for 2024- Fostering Domestic Violence Awareness and Prevention

Domestic violence is, as you know, a harrowing societal issue that affects countless individuals and families worldwide. As we look ahead to 2024, it is mandatory for us to collectively strive for a future marked by diminished violence within our homes and communities. Domestic Violence Awareness Agencies, community members, and law enforcement all play pivotal roles in this endeavor, working in tandem to raise awareness, improve education, and intervene effectively.

The Power of Active Bystanders

A fundamental aspect of reducing domestic violence lies in the empowerment of community members to become active bystanders. Such individuals are not merely passive witnesses but rather conscientious and courageous individuals willing to take action when they witness potentially abusive situations. The steps toward becoming an active bystander are as follows:

  1. Recognizing the Signs: Education is key; community members must familiarize themselves with the signs of domestic violence. These may include physical injuries, emotional distress, social isolation, or controlling behavior.
  2. Intervening Safely: When encountering an abusive situation, active bystanders should approach it calmly and non-confrontationally, prioritizing the safety of all involved parties. Offering support to the victim and discouraging the abusive behavior are crucial steps.
  3. Seeking Professional Assistance: In situations that may escalate or pose immediate danger, it is essential to call the police or a domestic violence hotline promptly. Timely intervention can be life-saving.
  4. Providing Ongoing Support: Beyond the crisis, active bystanders should offer sustained support to victims. Encouraging them to access local resources such as shelters, support groups, and counseling services can be instrumental in their healing journey.

 

Speaking Out: The Power of Voices

Silence is an accomplice to domestic violence. Community members must be encouraged to speak out and report abusive behavior when they encounter it. By doing so, they can become agents of change in their communities. This can be accomplished through:

  1. Reporting to Authorities: When witnessing or suspecting domestic violence, individuals should not hesitate to report it to law enforcement. Their information could be the catalyst for protecting a victim and holding the abuser accountable.
  2. Supporting Survivors: Encourage survivors to report abuse and provide unwavering emotional support throughout the process. Assure them that they are not alone in their journey toward justice and healing.

Empowering Law Enforcement Through Education

Law enforcement agencies are crucial players in addressing domestic violence. By enhancing the education and training provided to officers, we can ensure that they respond to these situations with sensitivity, expertise, and empathy. Improvements in this area should encompass:

  1. Specialized Training: Police departments should offer comprehensive, specialized training to officers on how to handle domestic violence cases. This training should encompass understanding the dynamics of abuse, victim advocacy, and de-escalation techniques.
  2. Cultural Competency: In a diverse society, it is paramount that law enforcement officers receive education in cultural sensitivity and diversity. Different communities may have unique needs and barriers when dealing with domestic violence.
  3. Collaboration with Advocacy Organizations: To develop a coordinated response that prioritizes victim safety, law enforcement agencies should work closely with domestic violence awareness agencies and advocacy groups.

Fostering Community Awareness

Building a safer future begins with fostering awareness within our communities. Several strategies can be employed to achieve this:

  1. Public Awareness Campaigns: Launch public awareness campaigns through local media, social media platforms, and community events. These campaigns should educate people about domestic violence, its signs, and the resources available to survivors.
  2. Education in Schools and Workshops: Integrate domestic violence education into school curriculums and community workshops. By teaching young people about healthy relationships and how to recognize abusive behavior, we can shape a future generation equipped to prevent domestic violence.
  3. Accessible Resources: Ensure that the community has easy access to vital resources, such as helplines, shelters, and counseling services. Make this information readily available to those in need.

Reducing domestic violence in 2024 and beyond necessitates a concerted and collective effort. Domestic Violence Awareness Agencies, community members, and law enforcement must collaborate to create a safer environment for everyone. By becoming active bystanders, speaking up against abuse, enhancing law enforcement education, and raising community awareness, we can draw closer to a future characterized by reduced domestic violence and increased support for survivors. Together, we can make a significant difference and ensure that every individual has the right to live free from fear and abuse. Let our shared commitment to this cause pave the way for a brighter, safer tomorrow.

Categories
Holidays Op-eds

Time to Reflect and Celebrate

As another year ends, it is time to reflect on the year that was. 2023 what a year! I remember looking forward to such a wonderful year (especially after surviving the chaos of Southwest Airlines!)  But never did I imagine what the world had in store for us. Two major wars raging, not to mention all the smaller conflicts that get little to no media coverage. Political turmoil, poverty, homelessness, hate crimes, and senseless violence throughout our country and the world. We lost many famous people this year (here is hoping you are eating a cheeseburger in paradise Jimmy Buffett and could heaven be any nicer for you Matthew Perry).

While I could fill line after line of all the terrible things that occurred this year I do want to reflect on some really good things:

  • The smile of a random stranger
  • The laugh of a child
  • A really needed hug
  • Cuddles with a pet
  • Supporters/funders who really understand what we need
  • Partners that are willing to work together
  • Watching co-workers blossom
  • Being able to say yes when everyone else has said no
  • The kindness of people
  • The strength and resilience of our clients
  • The strength and resilience of each one of us

I realize 2024 will bring many challenges, some that we know of, and I am sure many more we do not anticipate. But I cannot help but have gratitude for the things above and many more I did not list. I heard a friend say the other day, someone told her they start their day off with three things they are grateful for. So, I challenge you as I am challenging myself, to start your list of resolutions by finding at least one or two things to be grateful for every morning. My hope is that by the end of next year, your gratitude list is longer than just the few same old things each day!

Happy Holidays and cheers to an amazing New Year!

About the Author

Pic of Deputy Director Amy Smith

Senior Director of Operations and Communications at HCDVCC,

Amy Smith

Categories
Holidays Op-eds

Supporting Survivors- Shopping Mindfully During the Holidays

The holiday season is a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration for many. However, it’s important to remember that for survivors of domestic violence, the holidays can be a particularly challenging and triggering time. The added stress, financial pressures, and family gatherings can exacerbate their trauma. As we embark on our holiday shopping journeys, it’s essential to keep survivors in mind and take steps to support them during this time. In this article, we’ll explore domestic violence, its impact on survivors, and how we can be more mindful shoppers to help those in need.

Understanding Domestic Violence:
Domestic violence is a pervasive issue that affects individuals of all genders, ages, races, and socioeconomic backgrounds. It encompasses physical, emotional, psychological, and financial abuse, and its consequences can be severe and long-lasting. Survivors often face a multitude of challenges, including fear, trauma, financial instability, and isolation.

The Impact of the Holidays on Survivors:
The holiday season can be particularly difficult for survivors of domestic violence for several reasons:

  • Increased Stress: The pressure to create a perfect holiday atmosphere, buy gifts, and engage in social activities can exacerbate survivors’ stress and anxiety.
  • Financial Strain: Survivors may struggle with limited financial resources due to economic abuse, making holiday expenses even more burdensome.
  • Isolation: Family gatherings can force survivors into uncomfortable situations where they may encounter their abusers or face questions about their relationship status.
  • Triggers: Holiday traditions, such as decorating the tree or exchanging gifts, may be associated with traumatic memories for survivors.

How to Keep Survivors in Mind While Shopping:

  • Support Local Domestic Violence Organizations:
    Consider donating to or volunteering at local domestic violence shelters or organizations. These groups provide critical support to survivors, including safe shelter, counseling, legal assistance, and resources for rebuilding their lives.
  • Choose Ethical and Inclusive Brands:
    Opt for products from brands that actively support survivors and promote gender equality. Look for companies that donate a portion of their profits to domestic violence charities or prioritize hiring survivors.
  • Shop Thoughtfully:
    Be mindful of the gifts you choose. Avoid items that could potentially be used as weapons or trigger traumatic memories. Instead, select thoughtful, non-violent gifts that promote self-care, relaxation, and healing.
  • Gift Cards:
    When in doubt, gift cards to stores or restaurants provide survivors with flexibility and the ability to choose what they need most. Gift cards can also help survivors regain a sense of control over their lives.
  • Respect Boundaries:
    If you’re aware that someone you know is a survivor, respect their boundaries when giving gifts or planning gatherings. Ask for their preferences and avoid pressuring them into uncomfortable situations.
  • Offer Emotional Support:
    Sometimes, a heartfelt note or a simple message of support can mean the world to a survivor. Let them know you care, and that you’re there to listen if they want to talk.

The holiday season should be a time of compassion, empathy, and support for all. By keeping survivors of domestic violence in mind as we shop and celebrate, we can contribute to a safer, more inclusive holiday experience for everyone. Supporting local organizations, choosing ethical brands, and respecting survivors’ boundaries are just a few ways we can make a positive impact during this festive season.

Let’s work together to create a world where survivors can heal and find hope during the holidays and beyond.

Our Mission:
To improve Harris County’s response to domestic violence, we lead efforts to build collaborative systems and innovative programs that increase access to services and safety.
Our Vision:
We envision a community where all persons have relationships that are safe, healthy, and free from domestic violence.
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