“I am depressed today” almost all of us have said this or felt this at one time or another in our life but according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) – Depressive disorder, frequently referred to simply as depression, is more than just feeling sad or going through a rough patch. It is a serious mental health condition that requires understanding and medical care. Left untreated, depression can be devastating for those who have it and their families. And then there is another side and as the World Health Organization (WHO) stated, “At its worst, depression can lead to suicide. Over 700,000 people in the world die due to suicide every year”.
I know one of those 700,000 who lost their battle with depression. On the outside he seemed to have everything going for him, a loving wife, two amazing daughters who were just starting their lives after college, a partner in a company that was having a successful year, a supportive extended family, and more friends than most people could ever claim to know. He was always the life of the party from the first time I met him in college until the last time I saw him in July. I knew he suffered from bouts of depression. And I knew that it affected his behavior when I saw him, or more likely did not see him, because he did not want to do anything. His wife and daughters would say, “He doesn’t feel well today” but those of us in the know, knew he was in the midst of one of his bouts. He tried, boy did he try to beat this disease. He saw a doctor; he was on meds, and he struggled to overcome this debilitating disease but in the end it won.
I am so proud of his wife and daughters because they are talking about depression. They are not hiding the fact that he lost his battle and that his life ended when he died by suicide. They are using his death as a teachable moment. They are talking about depression and suicide. They have included it in his obituary, in their Facebook posts, in their conversations with anyone that will listen. They are spreading the message that someone who was always there for everyone, who was a little league coach, a proud father, a devoted husband, and an amazing friend can suffer from depression. Not everyone is okay. There is nothing to be ashamed of by seeking help. Check on your family and friends, I mean really check in with them. Let them know there is help available and keep encouraging them to seek that help. As his daughter said, “Everyday should be suicide prevention day. Everyday someone struggles and thinks they are alone when they have a whole army of love ready to fight with them. Mental health has a stigma in this society that needs to be broken especially with men. It does not make you weak or unmanly, it makes you a human who just needs some help.”
So to honor my friend and his beautiful family I am asking you- please get help if you need it. There is hope. You are worth it. I just wish he knew he was worth it. See you on the other side Bubba.
I know one of those 700,000 who lost their battle with depression. On the outside he seemed to have everything going for him, a loving wife, two amazing daughters who were just starting their lives after college, a partner in a company that was having a successful year, a supportive extended family, and more friends than most people could ever claim to know. He was always the life of the party from the first time I met him in college until the last time I saw him in July. I knew he suffered from bouts of depression. And I knew that it affected his behavior when I saw him, or more likely did not see him, because he did not want to do anything. His wife and daughters would say, “He doesn’t feel well today” but those of us in the know, knew he was in the midst of one of his bouts. He tried, boy did he try to beat this disease. He saw a doctor; he was on meds, and he struggled to overcome this debilitating disease but in the end it won.
I am so proud of his wife and daughters because they are talking about depression. They are not hiding the fact that he lost his battle and that his life ended when he died by suicide. They are using his death as a teachable moment. They are talking about depression and suicide. They have included it in his obituary, in their Facebook posts, in their conversations with anyone that will listen. They are spreading the message that someone who was always there for everyone, who was a little league coach, a proud father, a devoted husband, and an amazing friend can suffer from depression. Not everyone is okay. There is nothing to be ashamed of by seeking help. Check on your family and friends, I mean really check in with them. Let them know there is help available and keep encouraging them to seek that help. As his daughter said, “Everyday should be suicide prevention day. Everyday someone struggles and thinks they are alone when they have a whole army of love ready to fight with them. Mental health has a stigma in this society that needs to be broken especially with men. It does not make you weak or unmanly, it makes you a human who just needs some help.”
So to honor my friend and his beautiful family I am asking you- please get help if you need it. There is hope. You are worth it. I just wish he knew he was worth it. See you on the other side Bubba.
About the Author
Sr. Director of Operations and Communications for HCDVCC,
Amy Smith
Amy Smith
